Call Of Joy

When God has our attention we are in a privileged moment.  Yet we panic since it might not seem clear to exactly what God is calling us.  Despite uncertainty about vocational specifics, we find comfort and joy knowing God is calling us.  

Recently I spoke with a retreatant who has been pursuing certain training in her field.  Yet now she is feeling a strong pull elsewhere.  She has been feeling consolation, warmth and support from other sources, causing her some anxiety.  

When we simply notice a call there is a tremendous blessing.  How many people trudge along with no inkling God is calling them elsewhere?  To hear, to listen, to respond are gifts.  So is going forward in faith, to which we are all called.  

Quite A Journey

In the bookstore, I was checking in some women who were about to share a room.  On one of our maps of the grounds here, I had circled their room to help them find it.  

They were standing in front of the counter in the bookstore.  Behind the counter, I took out the map, but I was covering their room when I showed the map to them.  

"Now," I remarked in a serious tone, the expression on my face falling, "you've got quite a journey ahead of you to get to your room, but I'm sure that if you pay close attention, you won't get lost."  Still covering their room on the map, I pointed to the store, noting, "We're here.  Go out the front door of the store," then, moving my finger, I continued, "Go two doors to the left, and you'll be at your room."  

Realizing how much less complicated it was than I had led them to believe, they burst out laughing.  Glad that my gag had gone so over so well, I started laughing too.  "Thanks," I explained, "I'll be here all week."  

We Were Born To Bear Witness To The Truth

We all face the choice whether or not we will speak up for the truth.  We are invited to defend the truth.  Like Jesus, we were born for this and came into the world for this purpose, to testify to the truth.*    

At His trial, Jesus told Pontius Pilate, "Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to My voice."**  We belong to the truth if we defend and respect the rights of all people.    

Once we die, some people who have not called themselves Christians may very well hear Jesus say to them, "You listened to My voice."  And then they may respond, "Lord, I was not a Christian.  When did I listen to Your voice?"  And then The King may reply, "When you fed those hungering for justice, by taking to the streets and protesting over the shootings of unarmed Black men, you defended the truth that their lives are valuable.  When you gently interacted with gays who had been assaulted, you gave refreshing drink to those who were thirsty for the truth that we all deserve to be treated with respect.  When you welcomed the immigrant into your community, you acknowledged the truth that we are all brothers and sisters.  When you empowered a woman, by helping her to become educated so she could support herself, so she could be clothed with dignity and strength,*** you testified to the truth that we are all entitled to the chance to become our best selves.  When you listened to the mentally ill homeless person, you bore witness to the truth that we all have a voice crying to be heard.  When you encouraged your neighbor who felt trapped in a challenging situation, you gave witness to the truth that we all need each other.  

* John 18:37 

** John 18:37 

*** Proverbs 31:25 

In A Moment

Flaming burning rock 

Racing across the night sky 

Leaving a streak in its wake 

A bold rash statement 

Not at all to be believed 

Due to its half life 

Quickly extinguished 

In a moment Not a match 

For Orion's sword 

Try Your Hardest To Enter By The Narrow Door

Recently in one of the Scripture readings at Mass, we heard someone ask Jesus if only a few people would go to Heaven.  In response, He tells us to try our hardest to enter by the narrow door.*  To love as best as we can, we have to fit through a narrow space, we must humble ourselves so we can love more.  We are to strip away all in ourselves that prevents us from loving God and our neighbor.  

We are called to shun anything that leads us to hate.  God calls us to uphold the dignity of our neighbor.  We all must respect our neighbor regardless of the race of our neighbor; to do otherwise is to be racist and reject God's law of love.  Racism reflects hate, and so we are called to be antiracist, working against racism.  I think of the Black Lives Matter sign that I saw in the window of a bookstore in San Jose last week.  

A sign is just a beginning.  Last month, on the feast day of Saint Peter Claver who ministered to slaves in the 1600s partly by bringing food and medicine to them, I heard someone say that Saint Peter Claver would have approved of the statement that Black lives matter.  While likely true, Saint Peter Claver showed that Black lives matter much more through how he treated them rather than what he said about them.  

What we do matters much more than what we say.  Black persons should not be subject to the discrimination which continues to be inflicted on them.  Black individuals should not be brutalized by police officers or anyone else because of their skin color.  While it is important to declare that Black lives matter, it is much more important that we show through our actions that we value the lives of our Black sisters and brothers.  

This particular bookstore I've mentioned prominently stocks books on racial justice.  They are encouraging their customers to be antiracist, to change not just what they say but also what they do.  

It is easier to change what we say than what we do.  Nevertheless, God has given us free will.  We can use our free will to work for racial justice.  We can decide to be in psychotherapy to address the psychological insecurities which drive us to degrade others, including on the basis of race.  We can get to know and become friends with others of various races, to demolish walls of prejudice.  We can read books on racial justice so we recognize how institutional racism breeds, in our voting laws, our criminal laws and our law enforcement policies, and in how these laws and policies are made, interpreted and implemented.  We can make the choice to pray, to ask God for grace.  Through grace, we can do what we would not otherwise be able to do.  If God pours His love into our hearts,** then we can love our neighbor as God does.  Amen.  

* Matthew 7:13; Luke 13:24 

** Romans 5:5 

How To Be What God Made Us To Be

The bell had rung this morning at 5:15 a.m.  I was sitting in my seat in the church waiting in silence for Vigils to begin at 5:30 a.m.  I looked to my right and saw a little toad hopping along next to the wall.  

Once we started singing, the little toad kept hopping parallel to the wall, but it kept brushing against the wall.  It turned the corner as soon as it could.  I think we were deafening its little ears with our singing.  

A thunderous offering of praise met its little ears.  Would that there was always roaring praise coming from us to the glory of God.  Then we would be what God made us to be, just like that toad is without trying.  

Always Remember Death

Memento Mori.  Always remember death.  Let this reality echo in your soul to remind you of your mortality.  You do not know the day or the hour.*  You do not know when your time will come.  

When you get to the end of your life, what do you most want your life to have represented and produced?  What will have been the meaning of your life?  How can you live your life now so that you end up where you want to be?  What can you keep telling yourself now so you come to the end you desire?  How will you make sure you are constantly reminding yourself?  

We see the seeds of such a practice, of such incessant remembering, planted millenia ago, as those journeying through the desert were told, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength.  Take to heart these words which I command you today.**  Bind them on your arm as a sign and let them be as a pendant on your forehead.***  

Once they emerged from the desert into Israel, they took this injunction literally, making phylacteries, that is, little black boxes containing these and other words from the Torah.  They began the practice of literally clothing themselves in these words since they so value these words.  One type of phylactery is worn on the arm, hand and fingers.  Another kind of phylactery is affixed to the forehead.  

To make sure your life ends the way you want it to be, what words will you constantly keep in mind?  How will you remind yourself of these words?  How will you bind to yourself these guiding words?  

With my own eyes, I saw such a guide earlier this week.  As I was working in the bookstore, a man stood before me who I know to be pious, who lives his faith through his work, and in his prayer.  As he waited for his transaction to complete, I looked down and saw on his finger a ring with a skull on it.  I asked him, "Memento mori?"  He replied, "Yes."  

* Matthew 25:13; Mark 13:33 

** Deuteronomy 6:5-6 

*** Deuteronomy 6:8 

Who Do You Say I Am?

In today's Gospel reading, Jesus asks His disciples, "Who do you say I am?"  Peter replies, "You Are The Messiah."*  Jesus keeps asking this question, even today.  All of us answer it, without exception.  

You might say, "No one has ever asked me this question."  Even when it's not directly asked, it's still asked.  This side of Heaven, it's not always clear when it's asked, but still it's being asked of each and every person.  

Once we get to the other side, it will become clear when we were asked who we say Jesus is.  We may find ourselves asking Jesus, "When did you ask me who You are, and when did I say who You are?"  

If we recognize someone and show that person the appropriate respect and honor, we're showing that we know who that person is.  Then we're showing what we believe, who we are, and who the other is.  

Regardless of our religion or lack thereof, anytime we stand up for the truth, we're respecting Jesus.  Anytime we love our neighbor, we're loving Jesus.  In such choices, we decide whether or not to honor Jesus.  

When we accord Jesus honor and respect by loving our neighbor, we're recognizing Him in our neighbor.  Through such living out love and truth, we're showing we know who truth and love is.  

* Luke 9:20 

Usually We Wait

Yesterday the bell rang at 5:15 a.m. as usual for Vigils which begins at 5:30 a.m.  Once I left my cell, I heard a chorus of crickets.  I imagined telling them, "Normally we don't start singing for another 15 minutes."  

Moment Of Surrender

Last week I was grateful to drive up to San Francisco and visit some of my family.  My brother Greg, my sister-in-law Dede, my nephew Julian and my niece Miriam were vacationing in San Francisco for a few days.  

Up there, I was happy also to stay with fellow monks who live in Berkeley at Incarnation Monastery, our Camaldolese monastery there.  I was glad to see my good friend Michael who lives in the East Bay.  

On the way back south, at the airport in San Jose, I picked up a young fellow named JP who is participating in the Ora et Labora program here at the hermitage.  He'd heard about the program from a friend.  

Word gets around.  Young men who are not asking to become monks but who want to experience monastic life may come work and pray with us for a couple of weeks as this particular man is doing.  

In the car on the way back here from San Jose to the hermitage, at one point we were listening to the song "Moment Of Surrender" by U2.  JP explained to me that the band recorded the song in a single take.  

The relevance to the spiritual life?  When we are in a moment of surrender to the grace of God, we are empowered to succeed at what we are doing in just a single try.  

We Are All Valuable And Loved

A place was to be filled.  One of us was all ready, was asked and accepted the invitation.  In the invitation was found affirmation of one's humanity and thus dignity.  

Every Sunday at the hermitage we ask a guest to read the second Scripture reading at the Mass.  We gladly welcome our brothers and sisters not only at the table where we all receive the Eucharist.  We invite them to recite The Word they are about to receive in the Eucharist.  They are welcome to receive Him on their lips and proclaim Him with their lips.  

This past Sunday a monk asked a retreatant who identifies as transgender to read the second Scripture reading.  Since I do not have that individual's permission, I will not use that person's name.  

In any event, that guest walked up to the ambo and in the reading, recited Saint Paul's directive.  I refrained from issuing any accusation, condemnation or excommunication against this person.  Instead, I let Saint Paul speak for me, as this guest read Saint Paul's words, urging us: Love your bodies, "for no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church."*   

We ask the second reader to go with the monk who read the first reading to the altar: the guest who has read the second reading brings either the bread or the wine up to the altar along with the first reader.  

This past Sunday we asked our second reader to help bring the bread and wine to the altar.  As with any other guest, we included this person as one of our beloved siblings.  

Right after Mass, this retreatant who had served as second reader went into the bookstore.  This grateful servant explained to the monk in the store how different this particular Mass had just been from worship services in other places.  At other churches, this beloved child of God sadly was thrown out, ejected from church, discarded and disregarded, unheard and unappreciated, dehumanized and demoralized.  

Sharing this rejection, opening up wide, becoming so vulnerable, this valuable gem of a person was on the verge of tears.  The monk who had been listening tenderly encouraged the shedding of tears.  

Tears can express a dignity recovered.  Tears freely flowed as this precious, unique and exceptional human being, having been included, welcomed and encouraged to speak, felt respected, valued and loved.  

* Ephesians 5:28-29 

If We Can Laugh At Ourselves, We Can Learn

Usually every Friday at the hermitage lunch is silent.  As monks we sit in the refectory, that is, the monastic dining room, and eat and drink, as we abstain from speaking, as we listen to one of our fellow monks read to us.  The text read is sometimes spiritual autobiography, at times Papal guidance, at other times from another spiritual writer.  Then we hear a brief excerpt from the Rule of Saint Benedict before the closing prayer.  

For weeks now, we've been listening to one of our fellow monks read from the book "Alive in God: A Christian Imagination" by Timothy Radcliffe, a Roman Catholic priest who's also a Dominican friar.  Once he'd been diagnosed with cancer, he threw himself into writing the book, which he had been postponing.  In it he explores what it means to be alive in God, and how to live fully.  

Yesterday as Father Isaiah was reading "Alive in God," I finished eating.  Rather than wait until after the meal, I decided to bring my bowl and silverware to the cart where the used items are placed.  Once Father Isaiah had finished a sentence, I dropped the silverware into its basin, so as not to be making noise during the reading.  Then I knocked the bowl against the side of the cart, it fell to the floor and shattered.  

After my effort to be silent, I ended up making much noise.  On top of the crash, I made a further distraction as I swept up the pieces.  I was struck by the irony of how, despite my aiming to be as quiet as I could, I created a disturbance.  We have aims, we make our plans, and then sometimes we end up sabotaging ourselves.  Yet also in ourselves we find opportunities to recognize the irony and humor in life.  

I'm reminded of how someone recently told me that, as a postulant in a Buddhist monastic community, she was proceedingly slowly, and, she thought, carefully, into the sleeping quarters one night when she knocked over the wooden apparatus that was used to correct beginners.  As she tried to be quiet, she made noise.  As she knocked into something, she upset the very thing used to correct mistakes.  

Rather than wait to be corrected, as she was making her mistake, she corrected herself.  Years later, as she recalled the mishap, she was laughing.  If we can laugh at ourselves, we can step outside the immediate circumstances.  Then we can see what there is to learn.  If we are able to laugh at ourselves, we are able to see the correction being offered to us.  

May You Prepare For The Unexpected

While back east this summer, at one point when I was in someone's home, my host was gathering some snacks and bottled water to give away.  This individual explained that when bringing such nourishment, sometimes a needy person would not be standing by the side of the road asking for help.  However, not bringing along such sustenance, a homeless person often would be next to the street seeking assistance.  

Those people who are struggling, downtrodden and impoverished cross our paths when we don't expect them.  We find Jesus in those who are poor, in the people who are the least among us.  What we do to those who are the least in our midst, we do to Jesus.*  Jesus shows up when we least expect Him.  May He not come suddenly and find you unprepared.**  

* Matthew 25:40, 45 

* Mark 13:36

Give Some Thought

We're the authors of the stories of our lives.  In the words we use, in what we believe, we decide who we will become.  Our words play crucial roles in our lives.  

While I was back east in June, I happily went to four of my nephew's baseball games.  One of the players on his team said something like, "We haven't gotten blown out yet."  I suggested, "I'd delete that last word."  

One day a chef here was receiving compliments.  That person ventured, "Maybe I do know what I'm doing."  I recommended, "I'd delete that first word."  That person restated, "I do know what I'm doing!"  

We start to believe our own idea of ourselves.  Yet we can write our story so we succeed.  Our success begins with what we believe.  Give some thought to what you believe, since it will determine where you end up.  

On The Way Through The Love Of Our Neighbor

In the last week of June and the first week of July, I went back east to visit my family.  As a monk of the hermitage, I get to visit my family once a year.  However, due to the coronavirus, this visit was delayed.  I hadn't seen my parents in a couple years; it had been more than a couple years since I'd seen my sister, as well as my brother and sister-in-law with my niece and my nephew.  It was wonderful finally to see them again.  

The day I flew out of California, I met up with Karen and Maureen, former co-workers; we worked together when I was a attorney.  It was fun to catch up with them.  They both were raised Catholic, so they understand various aspects of life at the hermitage.  That day I took off from California, I also gladly got to see Susan and Aurora.  We lived together at the Catholic Worker House; they're still Catholic Workers.  

When I was planning the trip, it had seemed like a great idea to leave the hermitage early in the day so I could see friends I hadn't seen in years.  Finally when I was on the redeye flight from San Francisco to New York and was getting almost no sleep, I began to see the consequences of that itinerary.  Again on the subway from JFK to Penn Station, I kept nodding off, immediately waking up after a few seconds.  

Once I got into Penn Station, I happily got a cup of Blue Bottle Coffee.  I was also happy to pop into Magnolia Bakery and get a blueberry muffin.  With a little sustenance, I headed over to the Amtrak ticket counter.  I told the clerk I was booked on the 11:25 a.m. train to Albany.  He asked me where my ticket was.  I'm so used to showing up at an airport and entering my frequent flyer number that I told him I didn't have a ticket.  

He asked me if I had it on my phone.  I pulled out the flip phone I was borrowing from another monk.  He noted, "Well, you won't have it on there."  I admitted, "This isn't even my phone.  I'm borrowing this just so I'd have a phone on this trip."  He asked me, "How can you not have a phone?"  I explained, "I live in an area with no cell phone signal."  He asked, "Where's that?"  I told him, "Big Sur, on the California coast."  

He printed my ticket to Albany to see my brother and his family, and the ticket back to Manhattan.  As I struggled to arrange my coffee, muffin, train tickets, backpack and rolling luggage, he wondered aloud, "How will you manage all that?"  I was able to negotiate it all and navigate my way due to his merciful, kind, caring nature.  Before I walked off, I thanked him for being patient with me amidst my disorganization.  

Seeing God's Love In Each Other

Often our eyes need to be opened.  Sometimes it takes a crisis to get us to see.  A catastrophe can turn our world upside down, but it can also get us turned around back in the right direction.  When we get in a completely different place, we can see things from a fresh perspective.  Then we can recognize the light shining through our neighbor.  Upon such good fortune, we are brought back into right relation with each other.  

Last week other monks and I went on our monthly recreation day excursion.  We enjoyed coffee and pastries at the Big Sur Bakery.  We continued up Highway 1 and stopped in a park.  We set out on the hiking trail we had seen from the bakery.  We gained some elevation; we saw from a new vantage point the relatively new bridge constructed a few years ago when heavy rains destabilized the previous one.  

As we hiked, the other monks recalled how those torrential rains altered their routine.  They had to drive to where the old bridge had been, hike down below Highway 1 and back up to the far side of where the old bridge used to be.  There they would get into another car they kept there while the new bridge was being built, and they would drive that car into town.  

Proceeding into the wilderness on our hike, we saw a helicopter above us, suspecting it was bringing water to fight a fire.  The Willow Fire has burned over 2800 acres and is 19 percent contained.  It has headed north, away from the village of Big Sur; last year the Dolan Fire was further south in Big Sur.  Last year wildfire displaced us; this year it has returned.  Have we learned the lesson being presented to us?  

We're given chances to see anew not just what's happening, but also each other.  If we see rightly, we realize God's temple is not just a church; we too are God's temples, as we heard at Mass last week on the anniversary of the dedication of the hermitage church.  We behave appropriately in churches when we show we reverence Who is being worshipped there.  We respect each other when we recognize each other as God's temples.  

We're brought back in right relation when we see in our neighbors the love God pours into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.*  If we love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength,** if we love our neighbors as ourselves,*** then we see God's Spirit in each other.  When we fall out of right relation with God and with each other, God invites us back, at times in trials; then we can see supposed misfortune as good fortune.  

* Romans 5:5 

** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 

*** Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

God Has Us In His Hands

In the last couple of weeks, I've gotten some schooling in moving from the idea to the reality.  A couple of friends of mine have been showing me how to approach adversity.  Truly they are living their faith.  They are putting into practice the words of Jesus that we hear today.  

In today's Gospel, the disciples are on the lake, but Jesus is asleep.  A storm is raging, threatening to sink the boat.  They frantically wake Jesus.  He rebukes the wind and the waves.  He says, "Be quiet and calm."  He tells the disciples they seem to have little faith.*  

I am imagining someone saying to me, "Sure, Martin, you're sitting around talking about faith when you're not going through anything challenging."  I would reply to such an objection, "OK, fine, I'll let those with faith speak who are facing great difficulties right now."   

An old friend I've known for nearly twenty years shared with me last week that his dear brother is in hospice.  At times my friend suddenly breaks into tears.  During this trial, my friend has simply said, "God has us in His hands."  That's not an idea of trust; that's real trust in God.  

Another dear friend, who I've also known for years, just found out he has cancer.  As he struggles with the implications of this serious diagnosis, he has related he is relying on God.  It's not a concept of turning to God.  He is choosing to depend on God amidst this major development.  

Both these friends truly trust God now at these critical junctures because for years they've watered the seeds of faith God planted in them.  Once the storms came, they knew faith isn't just a word.  Faith is the reality of the strength God gives us.  Through faith God empowers us to thrive.  

* Mark 4:35-41 

I'm Not Surprised

We like humor at the hermitage.  A joke that has been told here at the hermitage by multiple people countless times for years, including this month: 

At this one particular monastery which is especially rigorous with its practice of the discipline of silence, the new admittees to the monastery are allowed to speak two words each year.  At the end of this one young monk's first year, he goes to meet with the Prior, the head of the monastery.  

The Prior, welcoming the young monk's words, says, "Yes, my son."  

The young monk says, "Bed hard."  

The prior replies, "Yes, my son, thank you.  You may go."  

At the end of the young monk's second year, he sits down to meet with the Prior.  

The Prior greets him, "Yes, my son."  

The young monk notes, "Food cold."  

The prior responds, "Yes, my son, thank you.  You may go."  

At the end of the young monk's third year, he meets with the Prior.  

"I'm leaving," the young monk announces.  

The Prior retorts, "I'm not surprised!  You've been doing nothing but complaining the last three years!"  

Enjoy The Strawberries

This afternoon I was walking on the sidewalk behind the church here at the hermitage.  I was walking to look for James, the other man in formation here at the hermitage.  We share duties in the Sacristy, sometimes helping to set up for Mass.  I wanted to talk with him about which of us was going to set up for Mass, which was combined with Vespers today.  I was absorbed in these thoughts as I walked along.  

As I went where I thought James might be, Edson, who is one of our cooks, excitedly asked me if I had eaten any strawberries.  I didn't know what he meant.  I asked him.  He explained that in one of the garden plots right behind the church, little strawberries were growing.  He showed me; I saw that each of them was only a quarter of the size of my smallest fingernail.  I picked one and ate it; it was delicious.  

We can be going along wrapped up in our own little world.  Meanwhile, God is gently reaching toward us with presents of delectable delicacies.  If we look carefully, we find God showing us love in what is right next to us.  We pass up the nourishment God wants to give us.  Since God loves us, God doesn't force anything on us, even what is good for us.  God patiently waits for us with love.  When we're ready, we find God's love.  

Know Him And Know The Way

We can spend a lot of time with someone without really hearing that person, or without mulling over what he or she says.  Even after spending so much time with people, we can even miss important truths about others, even about those we love very much.  

Jesus told His disciples where He was going they knew the way.*  He had been teaching them the way through how He lived his life.  He had taught them that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains a single grain, but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest.**  

Jesus is the grain of wheat.  To yield a rich harvest to the glory of His Father in Heaven, He laid down his life with much love for us.  Jesus showed His disciples that the way is not to remain a single grain, but that the way was to die to oneself so as to live for others.  

Thomas expressed confusion, saying the disciples did not know where He was going, so how could they know the way?*** He took literally Jesus’ word.  Thomas had much reason to look for the figurative given Jesus' style.  In missing His meaning, Thomas missed Jesus.  

Jesus explained He is The Way, The Truth and The Life.****  The Way to the Father is through Jesus.  As we embrace Jesus, we accept the sacrifices we have to make to live in love.  Jesus told Saint Faustina He is love itself;***** The Way to Heaven is through Jesus, by living in love.  

If we know Jesus, we know love.  When we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we welcome love into our hearts.  As we listen to Jesus, to the Word of God, we are led into The Way to God Our Father. If we pay attention to Jesus, we find in Him The Way to eternal life.  

* John 14:4 

** John 12:24 

*** John 14:5 

**** John 14:6 

***** Diary of Saint Faustina, 1074.

Have Life, And To The Full

In today's Gospel, we hear that Jesus came that we might have life, and have it to the full.*  What do we have to do, what's our part, so that we might have life to the full?  

God is inviting us into deeper life in all that happens.  In what we expect, what catches us off guard, what pleases us, what seems distasteful, God will work all of it for our good, if we but love Him.**

In what we find challenging, we might not understand the purpose of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Here as always God calls us to trust in Him, to go forward in faith in Him.  

Once we've come out of difficult times, we are not merely to feel relief that we are no longer enduring such trials.  Surely we are to be grateful to God that we're through such tribulation.  

Yet upon emerging from such taxing tests, we do well to take stock of what lessons were just being presented to us.  What was God just trying to teach us?  Were we resisting it, or were we embracing it?  

Last week Highway 1 reopened a half dozen miles north of the hermitage, after being closed for three months due to collapse.  The road opens, yet do we find life in the road we've always taken?    

The way in front of us may be closed, or perhaps God is opening up a new way for us, or maybe God is showing us a way that has always been open to us.  What seems like misfortune may be a blessing.  

When the path is cleared, do we want to go back to going the way we used to go?  We may have evolved such that we no longer feel inclined to proceed the way we used to take.  

To the extent we embrace what God is trying to show us, we find true life.  God wants us to have life to the full, yet God leaves it up to us whether we accept the truth of His invitation.  

* John 10:10 

** Romans 8:28 

Recover By Giving, Modestly Use Less, Ask And Receive

Give what you have and forget about the cost.*  In that way cover over what you hope not to do again.**  

You can choose to be less of a consumer.***  Lose in such a way that no one knows.****  

Ask for all that you need.  You'll get it.*****  

* Matthew 6:3 

** Sirach 3:30; Sirach 29:12; Tobit 12:9; Daniel 4:24 

*** Matthew 6:16 

**** Matthew 6:18 

***** Matthew 7:7; Mark 11:24; Luke 11:9 

Let Us Forget Ourselves So We Can Love More

We learn how to love from those who have gone before us.  Mother Teresa said, "It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing."  Saint Teresa of Calcutta continued, "It is not how much we give, but how much love is put in the giving."  At times I've considered what it looks like when much love is put in the giving.  I've also wondered how we know how much love we're putting into what we're giving.  

Recently I realized that the answer to these questions had been given decades ago.  In high school my classmates and I learned about putting love into what one does.  One day we were taught that hungry, vanquished Confederate soldiers were treated kindly by a victor in the Civil War.  Looking at the defeated southerners, the northerner told those under his command, "Get these men food and blankets."   

Love your enemies.*  Do good to those who hate you,** who want to kill you.  If your enemy is hungry, feed him.***  Even when you've just supposedly won a war, tenderly treat the person in front of you, who is in dire need.  See the broken individuals in front of you and treat their wounds, filling them up with what they need.  Love your neighbors**** in such a way so they are sure of your love.  

In history class in high school, we heard of this merciful combatant of the Civil War.  As our United States History teacher, Mr. Bill Street, related the tale of this compassionate member of the Union Army, he conveyed the story with such emotion that his voice broke.  As he told us of the clemency shown to the beaten Confederates, he showed us his profound concern for his fellow humans as he nearly began weeping.  

Mr. Bill Street will weep no more.  Earlier this month he passed away.  As I have remembered him, again came the memory of the compassion shown by the apparent victor in war.  Once again I was struck with how our much beloved history teacher told us that story with love, such that he not only felt deeply as he recounted it, but he went further, sharing his tender feelings with us.  He let us see his vulnerability.  

As we make ourselves more vulnerable, we show more love.  The less concerned we are with how we look, then the less we think unnecessarily about ourselves, and the more we turn our attention to our neighbor.  As we forget ourselves, we put more love into what we give.  Selflessness yields love.  When we die to ourselves, we are born into love as we live for our neighbor.  As we die, we are born into new life.  

* Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27 

** Luke 6:27 

*** Proverbs 25:21; Romans 12:20 

**** Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Let It Happen To Me As You Have Said

In every moment we are faced with a choice.  Constantly we are being asked to give our assent.  Despite our uncertainty, we can embrace our present circumstances.  

We see an offer to cooperate in the Annunciation we celebrate today.  The angel told Mary that she would become the mother of Jesus.  

Mary felt deeply troubled.*  Not comprehending, she questioned.**  She wanted to understand.  

Inherent in this approach is a desire to know.  Do we truly want to understand?  Do we seek meaning in the challenges we face?  

We might feel bewildered as we are right now.  Our current situation, amidst the coronavirus, might seem incomprehensible.  We can ask why: we can seek to understand.  

We can ask why we are enduring all of these apparent afflictions now.  There is a deeper meaning behind all this; we can seek it.  

Then we all face a choice.  I'm not just talking to Christians.  All of us face this question.  

We all face the decision whether we will cooperate.  Conceptualize it however you would like to see it.  We must decide whether to embrace our current supposed misfortune.  All of us either engage or disengage from it.  

Giving our consent to the duty of the present moment, we grow.  When we make excuses from what is our duty, we wither away.  In the present moment, we find our destiny, toward growth or decay.  

We receive invitations in the present.  The angel said the Holy Spirit will overshadow you.***  Mary then replied, "Let it happen to me as you have said."****  We decide who we are now.  

Mary said yes.  So have many.  In them are models to follow.  We decide who we will imitate.  Choose your model.  Make your choice.  

* Luke 1:29 

**Luke 1:29, 1:34 

*** Luke 1:35

**** Luke 1:38 

Loss Is Gain

Loss is gain.  When we lose ourselves in love, we gain since we find our true selves in love.  Through love our lives are saved.  God invites us into love and thus into the glory of God.  

Jesus taught us, "Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; whoever loses his life for My sake and for the sake of the Gospel will save it."*  If we cling to what we have, we lose it.  If we lose it, we are saved.  

By insisting on our own ideas that we think up without the help of God, we are turning our backs on our true selves.  If we follow only our own plans, we lose our lives.  

If we let go of what we think we have, then our hands are free.  With open hands and hearts, we can accept what God wants to give us.  As we lose what we had been imagining on our own, we save our lives.  

It's pointless to pursue our own agenda but not become our true selves.  Jesus continued, "What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?"**  

In sacrifice we find our true selves.  Today's first reading brings us back to Abraham.  Since he was willing to lose Isaac, his only son, Abraham gained so much more, becoming the father of many descendants.***    

As we sacrifice ourselves, we become our true selves who we will not fully see until Heaven.  What we shall be has not yet been revealed.  When it is revealed, we shall be like Him, since we will see Him as He is.****  

Then we will see Jesus in His glory.  Today in the Gospel we heard of how Peter, James and John saw Jesus in His glory as He was transfigured.  They saw Him in His glory; we wait to see Him in His glory.  

When we see Him in His glory, we will be like Him.  Until then, as we sing here at the hermitage, we wait for You, God, to transform our lowly bodies into glorious copies of Your own.  

We wait, and yet in a certain sense, this transformation can begin now.  If we lose ourselves by living in love now, we find our true selves.  God gives us His love so we can share in His glory.  

We are saved by giving up our lives through love.  With the love of God poured into our hearts,***** we are empowered to die to ourselves and so be saved.  Through the love of God we are saved.  

* Mark 8:35 

** Mark 8:36 

*** Genesis 22:1-18 

**** 1 John 3:2 

***** Romans 5:5 

Be Brought Back To New Life

We can think we're dead, when we're just about to come back to life.  We can be convinced all is lost, when all is about to be found.  Our circumstances can seem horrible, but they might be the path of our transformation into who God has always intended us to be.  

Amongst the Christmas presents I received a couple of months ago, I received a plant.  It's a most unusual one, quite resilient, not needing to be watered.  I didn't even ensure it got much sunlight; I just placed it on the table near the window in my cell.  Nevertheless, as the weeks passed, slowly it grew, eventually blossoming from short green shoots into tall, red, wide open flowers.  

After about a month, the vivid red flowers wilted and shriveled, darkening to such a shade of purple that one could have misperceived it was black.  I'd figured its glory had come and gone.  Then in the last couple of weeks, I saw new bright red flowers budding out of it.  After not too long, they burst open, announcing the triumphant rebirth of this determined plant...  

As you can see, there are other points where the stalks which had been darkening are in fact lightening into a brighter green.  Under decay, growth springs up.  Through all that seems to shake us to our core, we are being called into new life.  

As we grapple with the coronavirus, as it brings us the social distancing and the lockdowns, as we struggle with the isolation and its attendant emotional and psychological and spiritual challenges, as we lose financial resources amidst the constrictions on the economy, through it all we are being invited to be remade.  In each of these changes in our lives, we are presented with chances to grow.  

Recently I was blessed to witness such remarkable personal transformation.  A friend of mine came to visit me here at the hermitage.  When he showed up, I saw that he had become quite slender.  He said that once the lockdown had set in and he was spending so much time at home, he kept looking at his exercise bike. He concluded it had been ridiculous how he had been using it as a clothes rack.  The clothes came off the bike, and he went onto the bike.  Each day he spent a little more time on the bike, gradually losing weight.  He embraced an opportunity brought by the virus to live more healthily and thus come closer to being who he has been meant to be.  

Another friend of mine is also seeing fruits of personal transformation due to his embracing the chances presented to him during this time of the virus.  He also came here less than a year ago, following a call to attend to his soul, to spend time in prayer and work and spiritual reading.  Having valued what he has had to learn on his spiritual journey, he has reached a point such that in less than half an hour, he is going to be baptized.  

We are coming into new growth not despite of all that besets us, but precisely because we are being given these marvelous chances which seem harrowing but truly are calls to rise up and become our true selves.  Fire may devastate the landscape, reducing much of the foliage to ashes, but do not forget that we came from ashes.  As we begin Lent, this Ash Wednesday, let us remember that before we return to ashes, we have many more deaths and rebirths waiting for us along the way, which are not mishaps but blessings.  

All may seem dead.  Yet when all seems lost, we are being given outstanding opportunities.  It is precisely when it seems that we have little reason to hope that we are invited to have faith.  When we go forward in faith, trusting in God, then God can work wonders through us, bringing us back to life.  In faith we are brought to new life.  

You Seek The Road In You

The old road is no more 

The new road is in you 

What you sought is no more 

What you seek is in You 

In The Midst of Trials, Trust To Receive More

In today's Gospel reading we heard about Jesus' disciples panicking since their boat is filling with water while they're out on the lake, while Jesus is sleeping in the boat.  They wake him, and he rebukes the storm and quiets the sea, bringing a great calm.  He questions them why they are terrified, and asks them if they still don't have faith.*  

This week in California we received heavy rain, including here on the Big Sur coast.  Such a deluge of rain fell that in one spot, about seven miles north of the hermitage, both lanes of Highway 1 fell out, rendering that section of road impassable.  The rain has ended, leaving stillness.  

In the midst of trying circumstances, we can fall apart.  Yet if we have faith, we are called to witness to that faith and to the sureness and confidence it gives us.  We can recall that God brought us through fire and water, but then brought us relief.**  

We get relief through trusting God because we love Him.  God brings us through trials for our own good because we love Him.***  If we love God, then we trust Him.  When we trust in God, then God can bring us through fire and water and all sorts of supposed disasters, and we emerge miraculously better off.

As I've noted before, we grow more when we are challenged than we do when we feel comfortable.  If we want to become more than we have been, then we should welcome tribulation and apparent mishaps when they befall us.  

With each and every situation, we are asked what we want to become as a result of it.  Do we want it to unfold for our good and the good of others?  If so, then trust that God will work it to our advantage.  As Jesus told Saint Faustina, the more we trust Him, the more we receive from Him.****  

* Mark 4:35-41 

** Psalm 66:12 

*** Romans 8:28 

**** Diary of Saint Faustina, 1578.  

Honor The Truth

On this day we celebrate the Solemnity of the Epiphany.  Today we heard at Mass the Gospel reading telling us of the wise men coming from the east to honor the true King, Jesus.*   

Whenever we honor the truth, we honor Jesus.  Every time we reject the truth, we tell Jesus that we do not want Him to be our King,** since He is The Truth.***  

Today the outgoing President of the United States once again repeated his baseless claim that the most recent Presidential election was stolen, and that he was fraudulently defeated in that election, despite no credible evidence of widespread voter fraud; he encouraged his supporters to go to the Capitol and protest the outcome of the election, which they did, so that protesters stormed the Capitol and people died.****  In the lawfully sanctioned electoral process in the United States, the citizens told the outgoing President that we do not want him to be our President, yet he and some of his supporters refuse to acknowledge that truth.  When any of us supports unfounded allegations, we are rejecting the truth, and consequently we are telling Jesus that we do not want Him to be our King.  

How far are we willing to go to support the truth or deny it?  All of us, each and every one of us, with no exceptions, will have to give an account of whether we have fostered or undermined the truth.  On that day, the Truth may very well say to us, "Any time you denied the Truth, you denied Me."  

* Matthew 2:1-12 

** Luke 19:14 

*** John 14:6 

**** https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-video-statement-capitol-rioters-we-love-you-very-special-2021-1