One Follows Another

Approaching the bookstore was a tall young monk in the garb of his full monastic habit.  Relaxed and quite sure of himself, moving slowly and smoothly, he glided gradually toward the store as he brought someone with him.  A little one decades younger than him, perhaps seven years old, the daughter of an employee of the hermitage, followed behind him.  Her hair tied up into a ponytail, she was sporting blue-rimmed sunglasses with the lenses shaped into exceptionally large hearts.  She walked along serene and self-assured, with poise surprising for one so young.  In her strikingly collected demeanor, she seemed to be saying, "Yeah, I'm rockin' these heart-rimmed sunglasses.  And I KNOW I'm rockin' them."  

These two individuals walked along one after the other, so far apart in age and yet so similar in their confident and calm composure.  They resembled each other.  They had found each other, and now one followed the other.  

As they entered the store, I noted the considerable resemblance in the comportment of each of them.  I remarked to the monk, "You see, this is an example of how two super-cool people are just naturally drawn to each other."  

Find Joy Now

We are called out of ourselves.  We are called into new life.  We are called to become our true selves.  When we step out of being the people we thought we were, as we become our true selves, we find a joy we find nowhere else.  We find such joy because we have found new life, since we have been born into true life.  Then we feel great joy because we've become who we've always been meant to be, opening our hearts to expand.  

If we're awake then we recognize new life walking right through the door.  Recently when I was working in the bookstore here at the hermitage, in walked someone who, I later learned, ventured out into the world to find her true self.  She traveled to another country where she learned the art and practice of yoga.  She returned to the states applying the new knowledge she learned as she became a yoga teacher.  

When we reach a certain point in life, we reach a crossroads.  At some moments we must admit that the life we have been living has not been feeding us with the sustenance we need for the journey we are making.  Although it might seem unthinkable to continue while malnourished, nevertheless at times we do so.  Sometimes the thought of making a change can produce such fear in us that we become paralyzed.  Yet we're called to have the courage to step out of ourselves.  

There's making the change so we can start being fed how we need to be.  For some of us, we hear a call to learn a new trade, or to hone a talent we've been given but not been using.  When we start risking for the sake of our development, and moreso when we do so with love of others, we grow into who we're meant to become.  If our lives are not about evolving, if our lives are not about becoming more than we have been, then our lives are about nothing at all.  

Then there's the question of whether we're making a change that will only benefit ourselves, or whether we're shifting in a way that helps others.  It's easy to run off to another country for pleasure; it's a very different matter to go abroad to learn, then return and apply the knowledge gained for the sake of others' health, as with the yoga teacher I mentioned.  We are called to develop ourselves not only for our own sakes, but also so that we can apply our skills with love of our neighbor.  

When we give while providing a service which helps others come to fuller health, we help others to live in the way we're meant to live.  When we're channels through which life flows, we find joy.  When we help bring new life, we find the joy we've been meant to have, since God made us to take care of each other.  We were made to show each other the love we would like to receive.  When we embrace this duty of love, we find joy.  

We find this joy here, right now, in this life.  In this life as a monk that I've been living, I was privileged to have the joy of having Brother Joshua as one of my brother monks.  Some of you know that Brother Joshua unexpectedly passed away last month.  He had stressed that whenever he passed away, he wanted the celebration of his passing away to be an occasion not of sorrow and tears but of joy and laughter.  

Given his spirituality and his enthusiasm and enjoyment of life, Brother Joshua viewed his passing out of this life as an opportunity to rejoice, to revel in the countless blessings he enjoyed while he was alive.  Accordingly, not only during the funeral Mass yesterday, but also during the remembrances of him we shared after Mass, we happily and joyously recalled fond memories of him.  We celebrated his life here and the new life into which he has just been born.  

When we die, we're born into new life, a life that never ends, a life of joy since we are born into the eternity of the love of God, Who we will then finally see face to Face.  Yet we get glimpses of that great love now, when we open our hearts to become who God made us to be, taking the risk to become our true selves, to become conduits of God's love, as God loves our neighbor through us with the love God pours into our hearts.*  

* Romans 5:5 

Quite A Journey

In the bookstore, I was checking in some women who were about to share a room.  On one of our maps of the grounds here, I had circled their room to help them find it.  

They were standing in front of the counter in the bookstore.  Behind the counter, I took out the map, but I was covering their room when I showed the map to them.  

"Now," I remarked in a serious tone, the expression on my face falling, "you've got quite a journey ahead of you to get to your room, but I'm sure that if you pay close attention, you won't get lost."  Still covering their room on the map, I pointed to the store, noting, "We're here.  Go out the front door of the store," then, moving my finger, I continued, "Go two doors to the left, and you'll be at your room."  

Realizing how much less complicated it was than I had led them to believe, they burst out laughing.  Glad that my gag had gone so over so well, I started laughing too.  "Thanks," I explained, "I'll be here all week."  

Always Remember Death

Memento Mori.  Always remember death.  Let this reality echo in your soul to remind you of your mortality.  You do not know the day or the hour.*  You do not know when your time will come.  

When you get to the end of your life, what do you most want your life to have represented and produced?  What will have been the meaning of your life?  How can you live your life now so that you end up where you want to be?  What can you keep telling yourself now so you come to the end you desire?  How will you make sure you are constantly reminding yourself?  

We see the seeds of such a practice, of such incessant remembering, planted millenia ago, as those journeying through the desert were told, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength.  Take to heart these words which I command you today.**  Bind them on your arm as a sign and let them be as a pendant on your forehead.***  

Once they emerged from the desert into Israel, they took this injunction literally, making phylacteries, that is, little black boxes containing these and other words from the Torah.  They began the practice of literally clothing themselves in these words since they so value these words.  One type of phylactery is worn on the arm, hand and fingers.  Another kind of phylactery is affixed to the forehead.  

To make sure your life ends the way you want it to be, what words will you constantly keep in mind?  How will you remind yourself of these words?  How will you bind to yourself these guiding words?  

With my own eyes, I saw such a guide earlier this week.  As I was working in the bookstore, a man stood before me who I know to be pious, who lives his faith through his work, and in his prayer.  As he waited for his transaction to complete, I looked down and saw on his finger a ring with a skull on it.  I asked him, "Memento mori?"  He replied, "Yes."  

* Matthew 25:13; Mark 13:33 

** Deuteronomy 6:5-6 

*** Deuteronomy 6:8 

We Are All Valuable And Loved

A place was to be filled.  One of us was all ready, was asked and accepted the invitation.  In the invitation was found affirmation of one's humanity and thus dignity.  

Every Sunday at the hermitage we ask a guest to read the second Scripture reading at the Mass.  We gladly welcome our brothers and sisters not only at the table where we all receive the Eucharist.  We invite them to recite The Word they are about to receive in the Eucharist.  They are welcome to receive Him on their lips and proclaim Him with their lips.  

This past Sunday a monk asked a retreatant who identifies as transgender to read the second Scripture reading.  Since I do not have that individual's permission, I will not use that person's name.  

In any event, that guest walked up to the ambo and in the reading, recited Saint Paul's directive.  I refrained from issuing any accusation, condemnation or excommunication against this person.  Instead, I let Saint Paul speak for me, as this guest read Saint Paul's words, urging us: Love your bodies, "for no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church."*   

We ask the second reader to go with the monk who read the first reading to the altar: the guest who has read the second reading brings either the bread or the wine up to the altar along with the first reader.  

This past Sunday we asked our second reader to help bring the bread and wine to the altar.  As with any other guest, we included this person as one of our beloved siblings.  

Right after Mass, this retreatant who had served as second reader went into the bookstore.  This grateful servant explained to the monk in the store how different this particular Mass had just been from worship services in other places.  At other churches, this beloved child of God sadly was thrown out, ejected from church, discarded and disregarded, unheard and unappreciated, dehumanized and demoralized.  

Sharing this rejection, opening up wide, becoming so vulnerable, this valuable gem of a person was on the verge of tears.  The monk who had been listening tenderly encouraged the shedding of tears.  

Tears can express a dignity recovered.  Tears freely flowed as this precious, unique and exceptional human being, having been included, welcomed and encouraged to speak, felt respected, valued and loved.  

* Ephesians 5:28-29 

In All Things God Loves Us, So Give Thanks

We can always be receiving, if our hearts are open to love.  If we open our hearts, we can see the love being extended to us.  

A woman came into the bookstore this month.  She helps to see the light.  She noted if the coronavirus hadn't forced us into lockdown, she and her husband would not have been around their daughter to notice her mental health struggles.  With the virus come what seem like restrictions.  Maybe they are more like guideposts and life preservers.  

This woman has been guided into gratitude.  She is grateful for the additional time with her husband and her daughter.  She is even more thankful that this additional time has led her and her husband to help their daughter, perhaps averting a tragedy.  

Give thanks for a virus, for a fire, and for all things.*  Perhaps some people find it difficult to always thank God for all God sends us.  Sometimes we will see benefits God is giving us.  Sometimes we will not see how, if we but love God, God is working a virus, a fire, and all for our good.**  

God is always giving to us, since God is love.***  If we truly believe God is love, we will thank God for all things.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:18 

** Romans 8:28 

*** 1 John 4:8,16

All For Good

I have been remembering how earlier this year, this summer, one guest in particular stayed here at the hermitage.  He is a gentle, soft-spoken man.  During his stay of multiple nights, he came into the bookstore multiple times while I was working.  One time he came up to the counter and shared with me how he had been musing on unfortunate things which happen in our lives.  He said that it seems that horrible events are parts of God's plans.  I explained that God doesn't want us to undergo tragic circumstances.  However, God gives all of us free will.  Therefore, people, utilizing their free will, intervene in our lives and, through their choices, sometimes cause us to suffer.  God can even use such suffering to bring us closer to Him, just as He can draw us closer to Him through pleasant blessings.  For those who love God, all things work together for good.*  

* Romans 8:28.  

My Mom Visited!

My mom came to visit!  I was so glad to be able to share with her this monastic life here at the hermitage.

I was especially glad that she could experience life here at the hermitage given that, before she met my dad, she was a nun for three years.  She was a Discalced Carmelite, in the tradition of Saint Teresa of Avila, Saint John of the Cross and Saint Therese of Lisieux.  

Discalced Carmelite nuns are strictly cloistered: they are separated from the public.  Thus they remain inside the walls of the cloister, the boundary of the monastery, for more silence and solitude, to facilitate communion with God; they live a predominantly contemplative life.  They leave the monastery only for unavoidable necessities such as a doctor's appointment or a dentist's appointment.  Consequently, it has not been uncommon for Discalced Carmelite nuns to stay inside the cloister for years at a time.  

Simultaneously, adding to the spiritual rigor inherent in a life of being so separated from the world, often they also do not have contact with those who come to their monasteries.  Thus when guests come to such a monastery to pray in the chapel, the nuns are not speaking with them.  Often such a community will have an extern nun who regularly goes out to run errands, but such a person might be the only such person within such a strictly cloistered community.  

Some Discalced Carmelite communities have lessened the degree to which they are separated from the world.  Others remain strictly cloistered.  Each community lives out its faith depending on the spiritual life they feel called by God to lead.

So, my mom was coming here to the hermitage, viewing and assessing the life here, from her previous consecrated religious life as a strictly cloistered Discalced Carmelite.  In contrast, the life here at the hermitage is not as stringent.

It is true that the monks and I are generally here at the hermitage.  However, the monks and I leave the hermitage when we go on an outing of some sort as part of our monthly recreation day.  Any of us might leave now and then to get things done in town, that is, Carmel or Monterey or Salinas or elsewhere.  There is a particular monk here who, every week, drives to these towns and gets things done.  But any of us might go to town perhaps once a month to go to doctors' appointments, purchase things we need, or pick up or drop off an arriving or departing guest or traveling monk.  

Thus I drove to San Jose to pick up my mom when she landed in San Jose.  Since Casa de Clara, the Catholic Worker House where I lived and worked for a few months in the latter half of last year, is so close to the airport, I got to take her to Casa de Clara.  She met my friends who are the Catholic Workers there, as well as the women who, rather than being homeless, live there as they earn and save money in preparation to move out into their own apartments.  My mom was glad that she got to visit Casa de Clara, since she is familiar with the biography and writings of Dorothy Day, who founded the Catholic Worker movement.  I was happy that I was able to take my mom there after picking her up from the airport, a benefit of the particular approach to the contemplative life which we follow here at the hermitage.  

Just as life here at the hermitage does not entail staying here as much as my mom stayed in the monastery when she was a nun, so too the lifestyle of this hermitage involves more contact with visitors than she had as a Discalced Carmelite.  People come and stay here overnight.  They might ask us questions in the church or in the bookstore or in the retreat house, which is one place where they stay here.  Even longer than that, guests here sometimes receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, that is, Confession, from one of the monks who, of course, is also a priest.  A guest might also choose to receive spiritual direction from a monk when she or he is here.  Other guests spend even more time with the monks when such guests attend preached retreats here: over a weekend, such guests attend a series of a few seminars and/or workshops on various spiritual topics.  These preached retreats are given by monks and also by oblates, who are lay people belonging to the Camaldolese Congregation who have vowed to follow the spiritual practices of the Camaldolese.

Additionally, at the hermitage, employees not only work here, but many of them live here.  Consequently, we not only have daily contact with, but much more importantly, receive indispensable support from, friends and loved ones here who are not monks and who are not on the path to becoming monks.

With all this contact with those who are not monks, my mom found this lifestyle here to be feasible, in comparison with the lifestyle she led as a strictly cloistered Discalced Carmelite.  I cherished hearing her perceptions of life here.

I was also glad that she was able to come here on Mother's Day!  It was marvelous to have her here at all, and her visit became even more special given that she was able to be here on Mother's Day.  I am so blessed by God, including through my mother's visit here.  I am looking forward to my family and friends visiting again as I spend more time here.  

Awareness Through Choice

Here at the hermitage frequently I work in the bookstore.  I check in our retreatants, that is, our overnight guests.  

Recently when I was working in the bookstore, a retreatant told me that she found it difficult to believe that the Devil exists.  I replied that the Devil wants people to believe that he does not exist.  Does a thief who has broken into someone's home want the resident to be aware of him?