Find Joy Now

We are called out of ourselves.  We are called into new life.  We are called to become our true selves.  When we step out of being the people we thought we were, as we become our true selves, we find a joy we find nowhere else.  We find such joy because we have found new life, since we have been born into true life.  Then we feel great joy because we've become who we've always been meant to be, opening our hearts to expand.  

If we're awake then we recognize new life walking right through the door.  Recently when I was working in the bookstore here at the hermitage, in walked someone who, I later learned, ventured out into the world to find her true self.  She traveled to another country where she learned the art and practice of yoga.  She returned to the states applying the new knowledge she learned as she became a yoga teacher.  

When we reach a certain point in life, we reach a crossroads.  At some moments we must admit that the life we have been living has not been feeding us with the sustenance we need for the journey we are making.  Although it might seem unthinkable to continue while malnourished, nevertheless at times we do so.  Sometimes the thought of making a change can produce such fear in us that we become paralyzed.  Yet we're called to have the courage to step out of ourselves.  

There's making the change so we can start being fed how we need to be.  For some of us, we hear a call to learn a new trade, or to hone a talent we've been given but not been using.  When we start risking for the sake of our development, and moreso when we do so with love of others, we grow into who we're meant to become.  If our lives are not about evolving, if our lives are not about becoming more than we have been, then our lives are about nothing at all.  

Then there's the question of whether we're making a change that will only benefit ourselves, or whether we're shifting in a way that helps others.  It's easy to run off to another country for pleasure; it's a very different matter to go abroad to learn, then return and apply the knowledge gained for the sake of others' health, as with the yoga teacher I mentioned.  We are called to develop ourselves not only for our own sakes, but also so that we can apply our skills with love of our neighbor.  

When we give while providing a service which helps others come to fuller health, we help others to live in the way we're meant to live.  When we're channels through which life flows, we find joy.  When we help bring new life, we find the joy we've been meant to have, since God made us to take care of each other.  We were made to show each other the love we would like to receive.  When we embrace this duty of love, we find joy.  

We find this joy here, right now, in this life.  In this life as a monk that I've been living, I was privileged to have the joy of having Brother Joshua as one of my brother monks.  Some of you know that Brother Joshua unexpectedly passed away last month.  He had stressed that whenever he passed away, he wanted the celebration of his passing away to be an occasion not of sorrow and tears but of joy and laughter.  

Given his spirituality and his enthusiasm and enjoyment of life, Brother Joshua viewed his passing out of this life as an opportunity to rejoice, to revel in the countless blessings he enjoyed while he was alive.  Accordingly, not only during the funeral Mass yesterday, but also during the remembrances of him we shared after Mass, we happily and joyously recalled fond memories of him.  We celebrated his life here and the new life into which he has just been born.  

When we die, we're born into new life, a life that never ends, a life of joy since we are born into the eternity of the love of God, Who we will then finally see face to Face.  Yet we get glimpses of that great love now, when we open our hearts to become who God made us to be, taking the risk to become our true selves, to become conduits of God's love, as God loves our neighbor through us with the love God pours into our hearts.*  

* Romans 5:5 

Try Your Hardest To Enter By The Narrow Door

Recently in one of the Scripture readings at Mass, we heard someone ask Jesus if only a few people would go to Heaven.  In response, He tells us to try our hardest to enter by the narrow door.*  To love as best as we can, we have to fit through a narrow space, we must humble ourselves so we can love more.  We are to strip away all in ourselves that prevents us from loving God and our neighbor.  

We are called to shun anything that leads us to hate.  God calls us to uphold the dignity of our neighbor.  We all must respect our neighbor regardless of the race of our neighbor; to do otherwise is to be racist and reject God's law of love.  Racism reflects hate, and so we are called to be antiracist, working against racism.  I think of the Black Lives Matter sign that I saw in the window of a bookstore in San Jose last week.  

A sign is just a beginning.  Last month, on the feast day of Saint Peter Claver who ministered to slaves in the 1600s partly by bringing food and medicine to them, I heard someone say that Saint Peter Claver would have approved of the statement that Black lives matter.  While likely true, Saint Peter Claver showed that Black lives matter much more through how he treated them rather than what he said about them.  

What we do matters much more than what we say.  Black persons should not be subject to the discrimination which continues to be inflicted on them.  Black individuals should not be brutalized by police officers or anyone else because of their skin color.  While it is important to declare that Black lives matter, it is much more important that we show through our actions that we value the lives of our Black sisters and brothers.  

This particular bookstore I've mentioned prominently stocks books on racial justice.  They are encouraging their customers to be antiracist, to change not just what they say but also what they do.  

It is easier to change what we say than what we do.  Nevertheless, God has given us free will.  We can use our free will to work for racial justice.  We can decide to be in psychotherapy to address the psychological insecurities which drive us to degrade others, including on the basis of race.  We can get to know and become friends with others of various races, to demolish walls of prejudice.  We can read books on racial justice so we recognize how institutional racism breeds, in our voting laws, our criminal laws and our law enforcement policies, and in how these laws and policies are made, interpreted and implemented.  We can make the choice to pray, to ask God for grace.  Through grace, we can do what we would not otherwise be able to do.  If God pours His love into our hearts,** then we can love our neighbor as God does.  Amen.  

* Matthew 7:13; Luke 13:24 

** Romans 5:5 

Always Remember Death

Memento Mori.  Always remember death.  Let this reality echo in your soul to remind you of your mortality.  You do not know the day or the hour.*  You do not know when your time will come.  

When you get to the end of your life, what do you most want your life to have represented and produced?  What will have been the meaning of your life?  How can you live your life now so that you end up where you want to be?  What can you keep telling yourself now so you come to the end you desire?  How will you make sure you are constantly reminding yourself?  

We see the seeds of such a practice, of such incessant remembering, planted millenia ago, as those journeying through the desert were told, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength.  Take to heart these words which I command you today.**  Bind them on your arm as a sign and let them be as a pendant on your forehead.***  

Once they emerged from the desert into Israel, they took this injunction literally, making phylacteries, that is, little black boxes containing these and other words from the Torah.  They began the practice of literally clothing themselves in these words since they so value these words.  One type of phylactery is worn on the arm, hand and fingers.  Another kind of phylactery is affixed to the forehead.  

To make sure your life ends the way you want it to be, what words will you constantly keep in mind?  How will you remind yourself of these words?  How will you bind to yourself these guiding words?  

With my own eyes, I saw such a guide earlier this week.  As I was working in the bookstore, a man stood before me who I know to be pious, who lives his faith through his work, and in his prayer.  As he waited for his transaction to complete, I looked down and saw on his finger a ring with a skull on it.  I asked him, "Memento mori?"  He replied, "Yes."  

* Matthew 25:13; Mark 13:33 

** Deuteronomy 6:5-6 

*** Deuteronomy 6:8 

Who Do You Say I Am?

In today's Gospel reading, Jesus asks His disciples, "Who do you say I am?"  Peter replies, "You Are The Messiah."*  Jesus keeps asking this question, even today.  All of us answer it, without exception.  

You might say, "No one has ever asked me this question."  Even when it's not directly asked, it's still asked.  This side of Heaven, it's not always clear when it's asked, but still it's being asked of each and every person.  

Once we get to the other side, it will become clear when we were asked who we say Jesus is.  We may find ourselves asking Jesus, "When did you ask me who You are, and when did I say who You are?"  

If we recognize someone and show that person the appropriate respect and honor, we're showing that we know who that person is.  Then we're showing what we believe, who we are, and who the other is.  

Regardless of our religion or lack thereof, anytime we stand up for the truth, we're respecting Jesus.  Anytime we love our neighbor, we're loving Jesus.  In such choices, we decide whether or not to honor Jesus.  

When we accord Jesus honor and respect by loving our neighbor, we're recognizing Him in our neighbor.  Through such living out love and truth, we're showing we know who truth and love is.  

* Luke 9:20 

We Are All Valuable And Loved

A place was to be filled.  One of us was all ready, was asked and accepted the invitation.  In the invitation was found affirmation of one's humanity and thus dignity.  

Every Sunday at the hermitage we ask a guest to read the second Scripture reading at the Mass.  We gladly welcome our brothers and sisters not only at the table where we all receive the Eucharist.  We invite them to recite The Word they are about to receive in the Eucharist.  They are welcome to receive Him on their lips and proclaim Him with their lips.  

This past Sunday a monk asked a retreatant who identifies as transgender to read the second Scripture reading.  Since I do not have that individual's permission, I will not use that person's name.  

In any event, that guest walked up to the ambo and in the reading, recited Saint Paul's directive.  I refrained from issuing any accusation, condemnation or excommunication against this person.  Instead, I let Saint Paul speak for me, as this guest read Saint Paul's words, urging us: Love your bodies, "for no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church."*   

We ask the second reader to go with the monk who read the first reading to the altar: the guest who has read the second reading brings either the bread or the wine up to the altar along with the first reader.  

This past Sunday we asked our second reader to help bring the bread and wine to the altar.  As with any other guest, we included this person as one of our beloved siblings.  

Right after Mass, this retreatant who had served as second reader went into the bookstore.  This grateful servant explained to the monk in the store how different this particular Mass had just been from worship services in other places.  At other churches, this beloved child of God sadly was thrown out, ejected from church, discarded and disregarded, unheard and unappreciated, dehumanized and demoralized.  

Sharing this rejection, opening up wide, becoming so vulnerable, this valuable gem of a person was on the verge of tears.  The monk who had been listening tenderly encouraged the shedding of tears.  

Tears can express a dignity recovered.  Tears freely flowed as this precious, unique and exceptional human being, having been included, welcomed and encouraged to speak, felt respected, valued and loved.  

* Ephesians 5:28-29 

Seeing God's Love In Each Other

Often our eyes need to be opened.  Sometimes it takes a crisis to get us to see.  A catastrophe can turn our world upside down, but it can also get us turned around back in the right direction.  When we get in a completely different place, we can see things from a fresh perspective.  Then we can recognize the light shining through our neighbor.  Upon such good fortune, we are brought back into right relation with each other.  

Last week other monks and I went on our monthly recreation day excursion.  We enjoyed coffee and pastries at the Big Sur Bakery.  We continued up Highway 1 and stopped in a park.  We set out on the hiking trail we had seen from the bakery.  We gained some elevation; we saw from a new vantage point the relatively new bridge constructed a few years ago when heavy rains destabilized the previous one.  

As we hiked, the other monks recalled how those torrential rains altered their routine.  They had to drive to where the old bridge had been, hike down below Highway 1 and back up to the far side of where the old bridge used to be.  There they would get into another car they kept there while the new bridge was being built, and they would drive that car into town.  

Proceeding into the wilderness on our hike, we saw a helicopter above us, suspecting it was bringing water to fight a fire.  The Willow Fire has burned over 2800 acres and is 19 percent contained.  It has headed north, away from the village of Big Sur; last year the Dolan Fire was further south in Big Sur.  Last year wildfire displaced us; this year it has returned.  Have we learned the lesson being presented to us?  

We're given chances to see anew not just what's happening, but also each other.  If we see rightly, we realize God's temple is not just a church; we too are God's temples, as we heard at Mass last week on the anniversary of the dedication of the hermitage church.  We behave appropriately in churches when we show we reverence Who is being worshipped there.  We respect each other when we recognize each other as God's temples.  

We're brought back in right relation when we see in our neighbors the love God pours into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.*  If we love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength,** if we love our neighbors as ourselves,*** then we see God's Spirit in each other.  When we fall out of right relation with God and with each other, God invites us back, at times in trials; then we can see supposed misfortune as good fortune.  

* Romans 5:5 

** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 

*** Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Enjoy The Strawberries

This afternoon I was walking on the sidewalk behind the church here at the hermitage.  I was walking to look for James, the other man in formation here at the hermitage.  We share duties in the Sacristy, sometimes helping to set up for Mass.  I wanted to talk with him about which of us was going to set up for Mass, which was combined with Vespers today.  I was absorbed in these thoughts as I walked along.  

As I went where I thought James might be, Edson, who is one of our cooks, excitedly asked me if I had eaten any strawberries.  I didn't know what he meant.  I asked him.  He explained that in one of the garden plots right behind the church, little strawberries were growing.  He showed me; I saw that each of them was only a quarter of the size of my smallest fingernail.  I picked one and ate it; it was delicious.  

We can be going along wrapped up in our own little world.  Meanwhile, God is gently reaching toward us with presents of delectable delicacies.  If we look carefully, we find God showing us love in what is right next to us.  We pass up the nourishment God wants to give us.  Since God loves us, God doesn't force anything on us, even what is good for us.  God patiently waits for us with love.  When we're ready, we find God's love.  

Know Him And Know The Way

We can spend a lot of time with someone without really hearing that person, or without mulling over what he or she says.  Even after spending so much time with people, we can even miss important truths about others, even about those we love very much.  

Jesus told His disciples where He was going they knew the way.*  He had been teaching them the way through how He lived his life.  He had taught them that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains a single grain, but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest.**  

Jesus is the grain of wheat.  To yield a rich harvest to the glory of His Father in Heaven, He laid down his life with much love for us.  Jesus showed His disciples that the way is not to remain a single grain, but that the way was to die to oneself so as to live for others.  

Thomas expressed confusion, saying the disciples did not know where He was going, so how could they know the way?*** He took literally Jesus’ word.  Thomas had much reason to look for the figurative given Jesus' style.  In missing His meaning, Thomas missed Jesus.  

Jesus explained He is The Way, The Truth and The Life.****  The Way to the Father is through Jesus.  As we embrace Jesus, we accept the sacrifices we have to make to live in love.  Jesus told Saint Faustina He is love itself;***** The Way to Heaven is through Jesus, by living in love.  

If we know Jesus, we know love.  When we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we welcome love into our hearts.  As we listen to Jesus, to the Word of God, we are led into The Way to God Our Father. If we pay attention to Jesus, we find in Him The Way to eternal life.  

* John 14:4 

** John 12:24 

*** John 14:5 

**** John 14:6 

***** Diary of Saint Faustina, 1074.

Have Life, And To The Full

In today's Gospel, we hear that Jesus came that we might have life, and have it to the full.*  What do we have to do, what's our part, so that we might have life to the full?  

God is inviting us into deeper life in all that happens.  In what we expect, what catches us off guard, what pleases us, what seems distasteful, God will work all of it for our good, if we but love Him.**

In what we find challenging, we might not understand the purpose of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Here as always God calls us to trust in Him, to go forward in faith in Him.  

Once we've come out of difficult times, we are not merely to feel relief that we are no longer enduring such trials.  Surely we are to be grateful to God that we're through such tribulation.  

Yet upon emerging from such taxing tests, we do well to take stock of what lessons were just being presented to us.  What was God just trying to teach us?  Were we resisting it, or were we embracing it?  

Last week Highway 1 reopened a half dozen miles north of the hermitage, after being closed for three months due to collapse.  The road opens, yet do we find life in the road we've always taken?    

The way in front of us may be closed, or perhaps God is opening up a new way for us, or maybe God is showing us a way that has always been open to us.  What seems like misfortune may be a blessing.  

When the path is cleared, do we want to go back to going the way we used to go?  We may have evolved such that we no longer feel inclined to proceed the way we used to take.  

To the extent we embrace what God is trying to show us, we find true life.  God wants us to have life to the full, yet God leaves it up to us whether we accept the truth of His invitation.  

* John 10:10 

** Romans 8:28 

Let Us Forget Ourselves So We Can Love More

We learn how to love from those who have gone before us.  Mother Teresa said, "It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing."  Saint Teresa of Calcutta continued, "It is not how much we give, but how much love is put in the giving."  At times I've considered what it looks like when much love is put in the giving.  I've also wondered how we know how much love we're putting into what we're giving.  

Recently I realized that the answer to these questions had been given decades ago.  In high school my classmates and I learned about putting love into what one does.  One day we were taught that hungry, vanquished Confederate soldiers were treated kindly by a victor in the Civil War.  Looking at the defeated southerners, the northerner told those under his command, "Get these men food and blankets."   

Love your enemies.*  Do good to those who hate you,** who want to kill you.  If your enemy is hungry, feed him.***  Even when you've just supposedly won a war, tenderly treat the person in front of you, who is in dire need.  See the broken individuals in front of you and treat their wounds, filling them up with what they need.  Love your neighbors**** in such a way so they are sure of your love.  

In history class in high school, we heard of this merciful combatant of the Civil War.  As our United States History teacher, Mr. Bill Street, related the tale of this compassionate member of the Union Army, he conveyed the story with such emotion that his voice broke.  As he told us of the clemency shown to the beaten Confederates, he showed us his profound concern for his fellow humans as he nearly began weeping.  

Mr. Bill Street will weep no more.  Earlier this month he passed away.  As I have remembered him, again came the memory of the compassion shown by the apparent victor in war.  Once again I was struck with how our much beloved history teacher told us that story with love, such that he not only felt deeply as he recounted it, but he went further, sharing his tender feelings with us.  He let us see his vulnerability.  

As we make ourselves more vulnerable, we show more love.  The less concerned we are with how we look, then the less we think unnecessarily about ourselves, and the more we turn our attention to our neighbor.  As we forget ourselves, we put more love into what we give.  Selflessness yields love.  When we die to ourselves, we are born into love as we live for our neighbor.  As we die, we are born into new life.  

* Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27 

** Luke 6:27 

*** Proverbs 25:21; Romans 12:20 

**** Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

Loss Is Gain

Loss is gain.  When we lose ourselves in love, we gain since we find our true selves in love.  Through love our lives are saved.  God invites us into love and thus into the glory of God.  

Jesus taught us, "Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; whoever loses his life for My sake and for the sake of the Gospel will save it."*  If we cling to what we have, we lose it.  If we lose it, we are saved.  

By insisting on our own ideas that we think up without the help of God, we are turning our backs on our true selves.  If we follow only our own plans, we lose our lives.  

If we let go of what we think we have, then our hands are free.  With open hands and hearts, we can accept what God wants to give us.  As we lose what we had been imagining on our own, we save our lives.  

It's pointless to pursue our own agenda but not become our true selves.  Jesus continued, "What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?"**  

In sacrifice we find our true selves.  Today's first reading brings us back to Abraham.  Since he was willing to lose Isaac, his only son, Abraham gained so much more, becoming the father of many descendants.***    

As we sacrifice ourselves, we become our true selves who we will not fully see until Heaven.  What we shall be has not yet been revealed.  When it is revealed, we shall be like Him, since we will see Him as He is.****  

Then we will see Jesus in His glory.  Today in the Gospel we heard of how Peter, James and John saw Jesus in His glory as He was transfigured.  They saw Him in His glory; we wait to see Him in His glory.  

When we see Him in His glory, we will be like Him.  Until then, as we sing here at the hermitage, we wait for You, God, to transform our lowly bodies into glorious copies of Your own.  

We wait, and yet in a certain sense, this transformation can begin now.  If we lose ourselves by living in love now, we find our true selves.  God gives us His love so we can share in His glory.  

We are saved by giving up our lives through love.  With the love of God poured into our hearts,***** we are empowered to die to ourselves and so be saved.  Through the love of God we are saved.  

* Mark 8:35 

** Mark 8:36 

*** Genesis 22:1-18 

**** 1 John 3:2 

***** Romans 5:5 

In The Midst of Trials, Trust To Receive More

In today's Gospel reading we heard about Jesus' disciples panicking since their boat is filling with water while they're out on the lake, while Jesus is sleeping in the boat.  They wake him, and he rebukes the storm and quiets the sea, bringing a great calm.  He questions them why they are terrified, and asks them if they still don't have faith.*  

This week in California we received heavy rain, including here on the Big Sur coast.  Such a deluge of rain fell that in one spot, about seven miles north of the hermitage, both lanes of Highway 1 fell out, rendering that section of road impassable.  The rain has ended, leaving stillness.  

In the midst of trying circumstances, we can fall apart.  Yet if we have faith, we are called to witness to that faith and to the sureness and confidence it gives us.  We can recall that God brought us through fire and water, but then brought us relief.**  

We get relief through trusting God because we love Him.  God brings us through trials for our own good because we love Him.***  If we love God, then we trust Him.  When we trust in God, then God can bring us through fire and water and all sorts of supposed disasters, and we emerge miraculously better off.

As I've noted before, we grow more when we are challenged than we do when we feel comfortable.  If we want to become more than we have been, then we should welcome tribulation and apparent mishaps when they befall us.  

With each and every situation, we are asked what we want to become as a result of it.  Do we want it to unfold for our good and the good of others?  If so, then trust that God will work it to our advantage.  As Jesus told Saint Faustina, the more we trust Him, the more we receive from Him.****  

* Mark 4:35-41 

** Psalm 66:12 

*** Romans 8:28 

**** Diary of Saint Faustina, 1578.  

Know How To Save A Life

WARNING: This blog post contains major spoilers for the film "It's A Wonderful Life."  

Gratitude leads us to prayer, which can help avoid disaster.  If we just realized the power of prayer, God could save us from so much.  And yet when we go through dire circumstances, we would do well to remember that Jesus suffered infinitely more than we ever have or ever will.  Knowing He is with us in our suffering, we can be encouraged in our faith, to pray boldly, with much gratitude.  

Receiving encouragement to gratitude and prayer, last night some of the other monks and I watched the 1946 film "It's A Wonderful Life."  Many know the film, and rightly so, as a call to gratitude, for those in our lives, for the many opportunities to love our neighbor.  However, in recent years I've come to see it also as a call to prayer.  

At the beginning of the film, celestial beings are discussing the plight of George Bailey, the main character in the film, who lives in the fictional town of Bedford Falls.  They are considering his current circumstances because so many people are sending up prayers for him.  They call Clarence, a junior angel, to familiarize him with George and his life before they send Clarence down to help George.  

Clarence learns that George has helped many people in life-altering, even life-saving ways.  George saved his younger, eight-year-old brother Harry from drowning.  Not too long later, he prevented his boss, the druggist Mr. Gower, from accidentally poisoning a young boy.  When George's father passed away, George postponed his plans to travel around the world so he could take over the Bailey Building and Loan Company, so that working-class people in town could get loans so they could live in respectable homes; if George had left, then the greedy Mr. Potter, the richest man in town, would have gotten rid of the Bailey business, forcing people to live in substandard housing.  Once Harry returned from college, he was married, with a lucrative job offer from his new father-in-law, so he didn't take over the Building and Loan Company.  George once again felt stuck, but in time he married beautiful, devoted Mary, and with more time, they had four kids.  

Coming to the end of the present day in the film, we find ourselves just before Harry's return home from the Second World War.  At that point, George's Uncle Billy misplaced eight thousand dollars, which would be over one hundred thousand dollars today.  George went home to Mary and his children, and was so disturbed that when he rushed out of the house, Mary picked up the telephone to alert many people that George was in trouble.  Her children were already gathered around her, asking her if they should pray for their father.  Their mother Mary replied that, yes, they should pray very hard.  George was so distraught that he was seriously considering committing suicide, and so Clarence is sent to save George.  

George discontentedly mutters that it would have been better if he had never been born.  Clarence consults with his superiors, and George's wish is granted.  Clarence shows George what would have happened if he had never been born.  

First he sees that his favorite neighborhood bar, where his friends had gently and tenderly cared for him, has become a business where his one friend Nick now works as a cold, heartless, cruel bartender.  In walks Mr. Gower, who, George learns, spent twenty years in prison, since George wasn't there to prevent him from inadvertently poisoning the young boy.  

Once he gets back to the center of town, George sees the town has been transformed for the worse.  It's no longer called Bedford Falls; now it's Pottersville, since Potter has totally taken it over.  Not only is the Building and Loan Company long gone, but debauchery is rampant; as George looks on, one of his former childhood friends, now belligerent and combative, is being dragged into a police vehicle.  He hails the cab his former friend Ernie is driving; once he's in it, Ernie tells him he's living in a slum, since the lovely home George had made possible through his loan has never existed.  Later George learns Uncle Billy was committed to an insane asylum when he lost his business.  His own mother doesn't recognize him since she never gave birth to him; she is cold and hardened, with none of the warmth and tenderness he had formerly received from her.  

Retreating from the center of town, George goes out and attempts to see the numerous homes he had made possible, which, of course, are not there; instead he finds a cemetery.  In it he sees the grave of his brother Harry.  George declares it's a lie, that Harry Bailey went to war, shot down two enemy planes that were about to crash into two transports, and thus saved many lives.  Clarence explains that Harry wasn't there to save them, since George hadn't been there to save Harry.  Then Clarence says to George, "You see, George, you really had a wonderful life."  Still George persists; he urges out of Clarence the whereabouts of Mary, whom he finds, and who, of course, also does not recognize him.  George rushes back to the bridge where he had been considering committing suicide, but now he is begging God, earnestly telling God that he wants to live again, desperately imploring God to let him live again.  Grateful, George is restored to life.  

We can fail to appreciate God's many blessings.  We can focus on what we don't have instead of what do we have.  Yet when we pay attention to what we do have, then we are grateful.  

Gratitude gives birth to generosity.  Gratitude feeds compassion.  If we are grateful, we'll take care of those in our lives.  When others are in need, since we are grateful, we'll help them.  

To recognize the need of another person, we need to keep our eyes open.  Then we need to embrace the duty of the present moment.  

I have learned these lessons in tragic ways.  Ten years ago I was in a park with a group of friends.  At one point I was walking along with Bob, who was the friend of a friend.  He was silent.  I asked him how he was.  Literally, never at any other point in my life have I ever felt such unspoken darkness from another human being.  He did not reply.  A few days later I heard that he had committed suicide.  

In the many e-mails that were exchanged in our social circle as we struggled with the reality that Bob had taken his own life, a friend of mine asked, "Where was Clarence?"  He was referring to the guardian angel in the movie "It's A Wonderful Life," who appeared to save George Bailey from committing suicide.  I sent a group e-mail to those in our social circle, pointing out that in that movie, many people were praying for George.  In contrast, I asked how many of us had been praying for Bob before he committed suicide.  A crowd was storming Heaven on behalf of George Bailey because his wife Mary had urged them to pray for him; I had reason to know that Bob was in trouble, but I did and said nothing.  

On the Feast Day of the Guardian Angels, back on October 2 this year, this blog post had occurred to me, yet I said nothing.  Now I am conveying it to you.  Yes, there are angels.  Yes, they have jobs to do.  We also have jobs to do.  One of our jobs is to pray.  Prayer is power.  Power is exerted when it is used.  If you don't use your hand to pick up a telephone off of a table, it remains on the table; if someone else doesn't come along and hand it to you, you won't get it.  If you don't pray, and if no one else does, no request is made.  

We are called to care for each other, including by praying for each other.  We are not without models to follow.  Jesus came and cared for us.  We follow Him by caring for each other.  

Some of us could point out that we have not been well taught in caring for each other since we have not had exemplary families.  Earlier this year I met a woman who asked me how to cope with a parent who inflicted trauma and who continues to inflict trauma.  Twenty years ago when I made a new friend, she told me that as a young girl, she watched until her father beat her mother until her mother was bloody.  

Yet when we have been mistreated, we do well to keep in mind that often those who have abused others were themselves gravely injured.  A couple days ago I received a letter from someone I met years ago.  Back soon after I met him, repeatedly I heard that he hit his cohabitant very hard.  Then in this letter from him last week, he told me that he is still grappling with the reality that his father killed his mother.  

Knowing of his emotional and psychological wounds, I became compassionate toward him.  Learning of his deep scars, I was brought out of myself and into communion with him.  

We are called to solidarity with our neighbors in their suffering.  They are not to be left alone, and we must remember we are not alone in our tribulations, when we feel tortured and agonized.  In Jesus, Mary and Joseph we not only find our models.  In them we also find spiritual family members who share and feel our pain because they too felt such anguish.  

In Mary, Joseph and all the Saints, we find our spiritual family members who are waiting for us to call out.  If we simply ask them to intercede with Our Father in Heaven and with His Son Jesus, they will pray for us and thus show us the love they have for us as our spiritual family members.  

A couple days ago we celebrated the Feast of the Holy Family, the family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  That day at Mass we heard of Mary and Joseph taking Jesus to the Temple to present Him to the Lord God.  At the Presentation, Simeon, an elderly devout man, prophesied that Jesus was destined for the fall and the rise of many, and that a sword would pierce Mary's soul too.*  A sword pierced Mary's soul partly because her Son, though he would never sin, was put to death.  He was condemned to death although He was innocent.  

Jesus stands with those who are murdered yet are guiltless.  Today we honor the Feast of the Holy Innocents, those boys two years old and younger in Bethlehem, who King Herod ordered murdered, as he attempted to wipe out Jesus, who had been born in Bethlehem, The One who would become King.**    

It is often asked how God can exist when innocent people are victims of tragedies.  When we are crying out in disbelief over how God can allow such catastrophes to occur, let us not doubt the love of God.  God let His own innocent Son die.  God let His guiltless Son die to save us, because God infinitely loves us.  God loves us limitlessly because God made an infinite sacrifice for us: God, the Divine, is infinite; God sacrificed His Son, who is Divine and thus infinite, for us; God's sacrifice for us is infinite and never-ending.  

God's love is greater than any catastrophe that befalls us.  The Holy Innocents died as King Herod ordered their massacre.  God gives us free will.  Unfortunately, some people misuse the free will God has given us.  God takes the risk, that free will might be used inappropriately, because God loves us.  Love does not force itself on another.  

God also takes the chance of the improper use of free will because tremendous good can ultimately come out of this situation.  Here we delve into mysteries which will not be fully revealed to us this side of Heaven.  For now we are called to trust that through these perilous waters we will be strengthened.  Now we see what we are; what we will be has not yet been revealed to us.***    

In the end it comes down to what we believe.  Belief is crucial.  What you believe determines what you pray.  What you pray decides the result.  We reap what we sow.  

When we fail to pray, tragedy unfolds.  By contrast, we avert tremendous suffering when we pray.  

In our prayer, or lack of prayer, we determine the course of events.  Simply in being grateful, we are transformed.  Having become grateful, we are more likely to pray.  Being more prone to pray, we are more likely to be turning to God in all circumstances, including in rather trying situations.  Turning to God, and enlisting others to petition God, together through our prayer God delivers us.  God transforms the world through our prayer.  

* Luke 2:22-35 

** Matthew 2:16 

*** 1 John 3:2 

Stay Awake Because You Do Not Know The Day Or The Hour

Today I feel as if the Gospel echoes the urgency my soul has felt for years.  For years I feel I have been reminded of the truth I have heard today.  

Today at Mass we heard that 

Jesus said to his disciples: 
“Be watchful! Be alert!  
You do not know when the time will come.  
It is like a man traveling abroad.  
He leaves home and places his servants in charge, 
each with his own work, 
and orders the gatekeeper to be on the watch.  
Watch, therefore; 
you do not know when the Lord of the house is coming, 
whether in the evening, or at midnight, 
or at cockcrow, or in the morning.  
May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping.  
What I say to you, I say to all: ‘Watch!’”*    

After Mass today, Father Isaiah pointed out to me that this Gospel passage could be calling us to be vigilant so we recognize Jesus when He comes to us in our daily lives.  On any given day, we may cross paths with a homeless person; we do well to remain alert so we see Jesus in that poor person in front of us.**  

Of course in these Gospel verses Jesus is telling us that we do not know the day or the hour when He will come again, in His Second Coming.  We do not want to be unprepared when He returns, but instead we want to be ready for his arrival.  

Most often when I hear these Scripture verses, I am reminded I do not know when I will be called from this life to the next.  I have taken this directive from Jesus as an urgent call to attend to the duty of the present moment, to be constantly striving to love God and my neighbor, since at any given moment, this life might be about to end.  

Over and over in my life I have been reminded of the truth that I do not know when my time will come.  For many years now, my friends and friends of friends have passed away having had little or no warning.  They were not expecting death, yet at times it came unannounced, probably coming earlier than they had been anticipating.  

A college classmate of mine, Chris, once he was in his mid-twenties, died from complications related to cancer.  A few years later, Liz, a dear mentor and co-worker, in her late thirties had a headache at work one day; that night she expired from a cerebral hemorrhage.  Less than a half dozen years later, another co-worker in his late forties got up one morning and very soon thereafter suddenly collapsed from a fatal heart attack.  Around the same time, a friend of a friend, in his early fifties died during the course of an operation.  About a half dozen years later, another friend of a friend, Eric, in his forties lost a battle with brain cancer.  Around the same time, Karen, a former co-worker in her late fifties or early sixties passed away after only a day or two of any evident health challenge.  

Over and over I have been reminded that I do not know when my time will come.  Today in my heart, mind and soul is echoing the reminder of today's Gospel that has been presented to me repeatedly during my life.  And so, what has been reinforced in my soul I say to you: Be watchful, be alert, since you do not know when the time will come.  

* Mark 13:33-37 

** Matthew 25:40,45 

Thank God Constantly For The Love God Shows Us Through Our Faith

Abundance flows in all our steps.  Thank God in all circumstances,* since God's blessings endlessly proliferate.  

On Thanksgiving Day, in his homily Father Cyprian noted that we can be thankful in various ways.  We can be grateful that worse circumstances have not befallen us.  Right now, thanks be to God that the coronavirus is before us and not anything more devastating, nor an additional, much more threatening challenge; this spiritual dynamic is easy to perceive here at the hermitage, given how, thanks be to God, no one here was injured during the recent wildfire, nor how any structures were damaged in that fire which erupted in the midst of the coronavirus.  

In his homily, Father Cyprian also noted that in a much more profound sense we can thank God for the spiritual blessings He bestows on us.  Thanks be to God that He gives us faith in Him.  Through this faith, God strengthens us in the hope we have in His promise of what is to come.  God motivates us through this faith to love Him** and to love one another.***  Having faith, we are empowered by God to open our hearts to receive His love He pours into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.****

As we open our hearts to God, we are grateful to God that our hearts are open.  Although current circumstances may feel challenging, thank God for what is happening right now.  Often we are not able to see the good that God is working through all that is happening right now, the good that He works for all who love Him.*****  Trust is an indispensable bulwark to going forward in faith in God.  

What do we think is happening right now?  There is what is happening that we cannot see.  There is what we do, in which we can make seen the unseen.  In our choices, we can be the pathways through which God makes manifest that which could not be seen, yet which can be seen if we consent to cooperate.  If we embrace the faith God has given us, God makes His love manifest through us, and thus we give constant thanks to God.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:18 

** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 

*** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14 

**** Romans 5:5 

***** Romans 8:28 

Blessed Are The Poor In Spirit

Blessed are the poor in spirit.*  If we are poor this way, God lives in us.  God is all we need, and we have all we need.  Satisfied, we rest content and glory in our littleness, since through it God is glorified.  

Today at Mass we heard the testimony of Job.  As we well know, Job had lost everything.  As we are less aware, Job was dwelling in that place of confidence in God, even in the midst of disaster.  

Job seemed to have nothing.  Having lost all that could be seen, Job faced the most fundamental choice.  Embracing his nothingness, his inability to help himself, Job expressed his assurance as he adored God.  

Sure of who God is, Job proclaimed, "I know my Redeemer lives."**  Even in the midst of what seems to be total loss, Job declared his unshaken faith in God.  

Today at Mass, Father Cyprian said that Job lived in spiritual poverty, just as did Saint Therese of Lisieux, whose feast day we celebrate today.  Both realized in darkness, we are blessed if we are poor in spirit.  

For months at the end of her life, Saint Therese of Lisieux related the darkness that mocked her, telling her after death it would be still darker.  Yet Therese, in her littleness, went on in faith in God.  

God calls us to embrace our littleness.  Therese went further, writing, "What pleases Him is that He sees me loving littleness and poverty."***  As we find ourselves poor, we can love how we must rely on Him.  

If we love how God made us, poor and little, we embrace the will of God.  If we welcome what others might see as only tragic events, we can ever more become the children trusting in God He made us to be.  

In the midst of the coronavirus, beset by fire, we can accept what our present circumstances have to teach us.  Like little children, we can trust that Our Father is loving us, since He is love.****  

* Matthew 5:3 

** Job 19:25 

*** "The Story Of A Soul," Saint Therese of Lisieux.   

**** 1 John 4:8,16 

In All Things God Loves Us, So Give Thanks

We can always be receiving, if our hearts are open to love.  If we open our hearts, we can see the love being extended to us.  

A woman came into the bookstore this month.  She helps to see the light.  She noted if the coronavirus hadn't forced us into lockdown, she and her husband would not have been around their daughter to notice her mental health struggles.  With the virus come what seem like restrictions.  Maybe they are more like guideposts and life preservers.  

This woman has been guided into gratitude.  She is grateful for the additional time with her husband and her daughter.  She is even more thankful that this additional time has led her and her husband to help their daughter, perhaps averting a tragedy.  

Give thanks for a virus, for a fire, and for all things.*  Perhaps some people find it difficult to always thank God for all God sends us.  Sometimes we will see benefits God is giving us.  Sometimes we will not see how, if we but love God, God is working a virus, a fire, and all for our good.**  

God is always giving to us, since God is love.***  If we truly believe God is love, we will thank God for all things.  

* 1 Thessalonians 5:18 

** Romans 8:28 

*** 1 John 4:8,16

Look At What Burns Inside Us

On Wednesday last week, most of us monks returned here to the hermitage after being evacuated last month due to a wildfire.  All monks, all staff and all other residents of the hermitage are uninjured, thanks be to God, and due to the vigilant hard work of firefighters, monks and hermitage staff.  No buildings at the hermitage were damaged.  Some of the land at the hermitage burned, some due to the fire spreading, some under controlled burns prudently set by firefighters to prevent the fire from proceeding further.  

However, the fire station about two miles away--as the crow flies--did not hold up.  As firefighters were struggling to contain the blaze, it overwhelmed them.  They sheltered under their fire blankets.  Although they were rescued, and even the one firefighter who had been in critical condition recovered, thanks be to God, the fire station was destroyed by the roaring flames.  

We construct edifices, becoming confident of how they will be bulwarks that will save us from ruin.  From what are we protecting ourselves?  To achieve the purpose we intend, what we construct must be stronger than what we believe threatens us.  Can we really protect ourselves?  Are we supposed to protect ourselves, or make ourselves more vulnerable?  By looking at our deficiencies, then we can address how we need to improve and so become who we are meant to be.  

We are invited into awareness of who we are supposed to be when we are confronted by what threatens us.  These past days, fires have been breaking out in places far and wide.  They not only wreak destruction; they also call us to look at why they have broken out at all.  They call to us to examine ourselves and see how we have been contributing to the crisis which has been endangering our lives.  

Firestorms of violence have erupted these past days.  George Floyd and Daniel Prude were killed by police officers; it is easy to imagine how Mr. Floyd and Mr. Prude could have been taken into custody more prudently than they were actually subdued.  If I see another person as a threat, what does that perception say about me?  It is vital to be aware of how we perceive another person: our perceptions of that person will guide how we treat them.  

We can build fortresses of unwarranted assumptions about other people, assumptions we make because we feel they threaten our safety, and therefore that they will harm us.  It is not that much further to conclude that we must then attack those other persons before they hurt us.  We can easily do so without considering that they have been getting abused for years, decades, even centuries; we can proceed to continue such abuse without being aware we are perpetuating the very mistreatment we have condemned.  

Convinced we need to protect ourselves, those we hurt sometimes quite reasonably conclude that they would do well to protect themselves from us.  In our own eyes, we seem justified; in others' eyes, we may seem anything but justified, but rather we might seem like preemptive aggressors.  

When we assume we must shield ourselves from harm, we are acting from insecurity.  Why are we not confident in who we are?  Not accepting who we are, feeling we are inadequate, we lash out by attacking others.  

From this vantage point then, can we ever truly protect ourselves?  Often when we find supposed problems in other people, we are merely projecting our own insecurities onto them.  If the deficiencies are to be found in ourselves, then no amount of trying to extinguish perceived flaws in others will ever help us feel secure.  

Indeed, if we are somehow falling short, we are the ones who are to look at ourselves.  We need to take stock of what is in us that makes us uncomfortable, that leads us to feel inadequate and squirm because we feel we do not measure up to what we want to be or to how we feel we should be.  As we embrace this duty, necessarily we are being called to become vulnerable.  Unfortunately, rather than accept this duty, some people are so insecure that they lash out against others, sometimes violently so.  

Yet the fundamental question remains for each and every one of us.  When we are faced with the reality that we fall short somehow of being how we would like to be, that we are not as virile, not as strong, not as intelligent, not as resilient as we would like to be, that we are not as loved, admired or imitated as we would like, then we are presented with the decision whether we take out our dissatisfaction on those around us, or whether we examine why we are not closer to our ideals, and how we can achieve those aims.  

After the visible fires were extinguished, fires still broke out.  How did these fires erupt seemingly without any external cause?  The roots of trees were burning.  Due to the devastation on the inside, suddenly the outside became consumed through the intense heat that was brimming within.  

Each and every one of us needs to carefully consider the attitudes, preconceptions and prejudices that we mistakenly believe keep us safe, but which in fact merely harbor hostility that seems to be simmering, that, unchecked and unaddressed, may boil over into violence toward our neighbor.  If we are convinced we have no prejudices, whether with race or with some other concern, it is prudent to consult sources specially designed for that purpose, to help us look for a more objective answer, unsettling as it may be.*  

As we conduct this crucial self-examination, we lay bare the core of our hearts.  We aspire to open up to the light of day whatever stands in the way of our loving our neighbor.  Painful as it is, we are called to die to all that is in us which we feel protects us, but will not save us, but only imperil us and our neighbor.  The grain of our ego having fallen into the ground and died, then love can yield a rich harvest.**    

Love springs up in abundance when all opposed to love in us dies.  When fire ravages a forest, much carbon is left in the soil, which tremendously fuels new plant growth.  As we die to that in us which impedes the free flow of love through us, then God pours into our hearts His love through the Holy Spirit.***  For this love to be poured into our hearts, we must cultivate our hearts for love.  

To love our neighbor, we must love ourselves.  To love ourselves, we must be honest with ourselves.  To love our neighbor, we must see ourselves as we really are.  Once we are looking at ourselves with all honesty, then we can consciously work to eliminate all that stands in the way of love.  As we get out of the way, we make way for love.  

* https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/ 

** John 12:24 

*** Romans 5:5 

Trust Is The Antidote To Fear

Today I heard a question about fear in the context of discernment.  Fear can affect us in many ways, some of which can be quite debilitating. 

Fear can be disabling.  Fear blocks love. 

If we want to love, we should let fear be cast out of ourselves.  Eventually, we can get to the point where perfect love casts out all fear.* 

God wants to pour His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.**  God wants to drive the fear out of us.  God wants us to trust in Him. 

God is love.***  God is infinite; God's love is infinite. 

God's love for us is infinitely greater than we imagine.  What God has in mind for us is infinitely better than what we can imagine for ourselves. 

When we fear, we are laboring under our misconceptions of what is best for us.  In our fear, we are holding ourselves back from accurately seeing the love that God has in mind for us. 

God wants to set us free from our lack of vision so we can be free to welcome His love into us.  As we let go of our fear, we make room for the love of God in our hearts. 

If we trust in God, our fear will shrivel up as love comes to dwell in us.  Trust in God, and the love it brings, is the antidote to the fear which disables us.  

* 1 John 4:18
** Romans 5:5 
*** 1 John 4:8, 16

Love Counts No Costs As It Upholds Justice

Yesterday at a protest in London, the actor John Boyega spoke out against racism.  He denounced when people are demeaned for their race.  

It occurred to him that by speaking out so boldly, it might hurt his career.  He considered that he might not have a career after he said what he had to say.*     

He values the dignity of all people, rather than profit at any cost.  He speaks to uphold justice.  

People who seek justice seek God, even if they do not know it.  Those who seek truth seek God.  As persons strive for recognition of the truth of the dignity of all, they strive to do the work of God.  

When one loves justice, goodness and right no matter what the cost, one loves God with all one's heart, with all one's soul, with all one's mind, and with all one's strength.  To love God in this way is the most important commandment, as Jesus tells us in today's Gospel.**  

John Boyega spoke against racism for the sake of George Floyd, a black man pinned to the ground by a white police officer who continued to apply pressure even after Mr. Floyd protested that he could not breathe, resulting in the death of Mr. Floyd.  Although John Boyega thought he might endanger his acting career by defending the rights of our brother George Floyd, and of our other black brothers and sisters, including Sandra Bland, Trayvon Martin, Stephen Lawrence and Mark Duggan, who have suffered similar fates, John Boyega spoke out for the sake of our brothers and sisters.*  To put one's neighbor's interests before one's own, is to love one's neighbor as oneself, the second most important commandment, as Jesus tells us in today's Gospel.***  

Love seeks the dignity of the other.  Love looks beyond oneself.  Love spares no expense.  

We love with all our heart when we work for justice without counting the cost.  We truly love our neighbor when we put our neighbor before ourselves.  In so doing, we become who God made us to be.  

* https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/11780885/john-boyega-speech-black-lives-matter/ 

** Deuteronomy 6:5; Deuteronomy 10:12; Matthew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27 

*** Matthew 22:39; Mark 12:31; Luke 10:27; Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14