You Can Only Do What You Have Been Given Power To Do

You can only do what you have been given power to do.  I definitely do not have the grace to be celibate, so I am in the process of transitioning out of being a monk.  

I have been struggling with this question for years.  This is not a brash decision.  In consultation with my spiritual director I arrived at this point.  All things considered, it is not surprising to be leaving for this reason.  

In addition to spiritual direction, I've read quite a bit about celibacy and sexuality.  In that reading, I found the confirmation that celibacy is not something you can live if you don't have the grace for it.  

Consequently, after I move out of the hermitage, which will probably be in a few weeks, I expect to return to dating.  Someday I hope and pray that I'll get married.  

In the meantime, I have been well supported by my fellow monks who are wishing me well.  While they have said they're disappointed I'm leaving, they're supporting me in the discernment decision I've made.  

I've also been marvelously supported by the community of oblates.  These lay people who live out contemplative practices in their everyday lives are warmly encouraging me to become an oblate, which I plan to do.  

It's a tremendous help knowing I will be part of the extended spiritual community of the hermitage.  I had been dreading giving up so many of the benefits of living here, namely the spiritual community, the communal prayer, the silence, and the solitude, among so many other blessings.  However, now I realize that God still will be bestowing so many of these blessings on me, partly through the oblate community, and partly since I will be coming back to visit the hermitage.  

I'm also immensely comforted knowing, in the midst of my final discernment decision to stop being a monk, that God loves me after this decision I am making.  In today's Gospel, Jesus looked with love at the rich young man who told Jesus that he had kept all of the commandments and who asked what else he needed to do.  Then Jesus told him that he lacked one thing; He told the rich young man that if he wished to be perfect, to go and sell all he had and he would have treasure in Heaven.  Then Jesus told the rich young man to follow Him, but the rich young man went away sad.*  Yet Jesus still loved him.  And Jesus loves me after this decision I am making to stop being a monk.  

After the rich young man went away sad, Jesus remarked about how hard it was for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God.  Jesus noted that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God.  Then Jesus explained that what is impossible for people, is possible for God.  What you can't do without grace, you can do with grace.  However, you have to be given that grace, and I have not been given the grace to be celibate, so it's impossible for me to be a monk.  However, I am still loved, by my fellow monks, by the extended spiritual community including the oblates, and most of all by God.  Therefore I will be leaving the hermitage full of love.  

* Mark 10:17-27 

Cut It Off

Earlier this week in the Gospel we heard Jesus urge us that if our hand is what ails, cut it off.  Similarly, He directs us if our foot is what would be our downfall, cut it off.  

I can boldly and brashly assert that I can do this or that, but at what cost?  Am I insisting on stretching myself to do something that I am not equipped to do, that is going to cause harm in the end?  

If my pride would result in my ruin, I need to have it ripped out of me.  In the end, it's not what we accomplish, but what we admit of the truth about ourselves and our limitations that matters.  

We Were Born To Bear Witness To The Truth

We all face the choice whether or not we will speak up for the truth.  We are invited to defend the truth.  Like Jesus, we were born for this and came into the world for this purpose, to testify to the truth.*    

At His trial, Jesus told Pontius Pilate, "Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to My voice."**  We belong to the truth if we defend and respect the rights of all people.    

Once we die, some people who have not called themselves Christians may very well hear Jesus say to them, "You listened to My voice."  And then they may respond, "Lord, I was not a Christian.  When did I listen to Your voice?"  And then The King may reply, "When you fed those hungering for justice, by taking to the streets and protesting over the shootings of unarmed Black men, you defended the truth that their lives are valuable.  When you gently interacted with gays who had been assaulted, you gave refreshing drink to those who were thirsty for the truth that we all deserve to be treated with respect.  When you welcomed the immigrant into your community, you acknowledged the truth that we are all brothers and sisters.  When you empowered a woman, by helping her to become educated so she could support herself, so she could be clothed with dignity and strength,*** you testified to the truth that we are all entitled to the chance to become our best selves.  When you listened to the mentally ill homeless person, you bore witness to the truth that we all have a voice crying to be heard.  When you encouraged your neighbor who felt trapped in a challenging situation, you gave witness to the truth that we all need each other.  

* John 18:37 

** John 18:37 

*** Proverbs 31:25 

Try Your Hardest To Enter By The Narrow Door

Recently in one of the Scripture readings at Mass, we heard someone ask Jesus if only a few people would go to Heaven.  In response, He tells us to try our hardest to enter by the narrow door.*  To love as best as we can, we have to fit through a narrow space, we must humble ourselves so we can love more.  We are to strip away all in ourselves that prevents us from loving God and our neighbor.  

We are called to shun anything that leads us to hate.  God calls us to uphold the dignity of our neighbor.  We all must respect our neighbor regardless of the race of our neighbor; to do otherwise is to be racist and reject God's law of love.  Racism reflects hate, and so we are called to be antiracist, working against racism.  I think of the Black Lives Matter sign that I saw in the window of a bookstore in San Jose last week.  

A sign is just a beginning.  Last month, on the feast day of Saint Peter Claver who ministered to slaves in the 1600s partly by bringing food and medicine to them, I heard someone say that Saint Peter Claver would have approved of the statement that Black lives matter.  While likely true, Saint Peter Claver showed that Black lives matter much more through how he treated them rather than what he said about them.  

What we do matters much more than what we say.  Black persons should not be subject to the discrimination which continues to be inflicted on them.  Black individuals should not be brutalized by police officers or anyone else because of their skin color.  While it is important to declare that Black lives matter, it is much more important that we show through our actions that we value the lives of our Black sisters and brothers.  

This particular bookstore I've mentioned prominently stocks books on racial justice.  They are encouraging their customers to be antiracist, to change not just what they say but also what they do.  

It is easier to change what we say than what we do.  Nevertheless, God has given us free will.  We can use our free will to work for racial justice.  We can decide to be in psychotherapy to address the psychological insecurities which drive us to degrade others, including on the basis of race.  We can get to know and become friends with others of various races, to demolish walls of prejudice.  We can read books on racial justice so we recognize how institutional racism breeds, in our voting laws, our criminal laws and our law enforcement policies, and in how these laws and policies are made, interpreted and implemented.  We can make the choice to pray, to ask God for grace.  Through grace, we can do what we would not otherwise be able to do.  If God pours His love into our hearts,** then we can love our neighbor as God does.  Amen.  

* Matthew 7:13; Luke 13:24 

** Romans 5:5 

Who Do You Say I Am?

In today's Gospel reading, Jesus asks His disciples, "Who do you say I am?"  Peter replies, "You Are The Messiah."*  Jesus keeps asking this question, even today.  All of us answer it, without exception.  

You might say, "No one has ever asked me this question."  Even when it's not directly asked, it's still asked.  This side of Heaven, it's not always clear when it's asked, but still it's being asked of each and every person.  

Once we get to the other side, it will become clear when we were asked who we say Jesus is.  We may find ourselves asking Jesus, "When did you ask me who You are, and when did I say who You are?"  

If we recognize someone and show that person the appropriate respect and honor, we're showing that we know who that person is.  Then we're showing what we believe, who we are, and who the other is.  

Regardless of our religion or lack thereof, anytime we stand up for the truth, we're respecting Jesus.  Anytime we love our neighbor, we're loving Jesus.  In such choices, we decide whether or not to honor Jesus.  

When we accord Jesus honor and respect by loving our neighbor, we're recognizing Him in our neighbor.  Through such living out love and truth, we're showing we know who truth and love is.  

* Luke 9:20 

We Are All Valuable And Loved

A place was to be filled.  One of us was all ready, was asked and accepted the invitation.  In the invitation was found affirmation of one's humanity and thus dignity.  

Every Sunday at the hermitage we ask a guest to read the second Scripture reading at the Mass.  We gladly welcome our brothers and sisters not only at the table where we all receive the Eucharist.  We invite them to recite The Word they are about to receive in the Eucharist.  They are welcome to receive Him on their lips and proclaim Him with their lips.  

This past Sunday a monk asked a retreatant who identifies as transgender to read the second Scripture reading.  Since I do not have that individual's permission, I will not use that person's name.  

In any event, that guest walked up to the ambo and in the reading, recited Saint Paul's directive.  I refrained from issuing any accusation, condemnation or excommunication against this person.  Instead, I let Saint Paul speak for me, as this guest read Saint Paul's words, urging us: Love your bodies, "for no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church."*   

We ask the second reader to go with the monk who read the first reading to the altar: the guest who has read the second reading brings either the bread or the wine up to the altar along with the first reader.  

This past Sunday we asked our second reader to help bring the bread and wine to the altar.  As with any other guest, we included this person as one of our beloved siblings.  

Right after Mass, this retreatant who had served as second reader went into the bookstore.  This grateful servant explained to the monk in the store how different this particular Mass had just been from worship services in other places.  At other churches, this beloved child of God sadly was thrown out, ejected from church, discarded and disregarded, unheard and unappreciated, dehumanized and demoralized.  

Sharing this rejection, opening up wide, becoming so vulnerable, this valuable gem of a person was on the verge of tears.  The monk who had been listening tenderly encouraged the shedding of tears.  

Tears can express a dignity recovered.  Tears freely flowed as this precious, unique and exceptional human being, having been included, welcomed and encouraged to speak, felt respected, valued and loved.  

* Ephesians 5:28-29 

May You Prepare For The Unexpected

While back east this summer, at one point when I was in someone's home, my host was gathering some snacks and bottled water to give away.  This individual explained that when bringing such nourishment, sometimes a needy person would not be standing by the side of the road asking for help.  However, not bringing along such sustenance, a homeless person often would be next to the street seeking assistance.  

Those people who are struggling, downtrodden and impoverished cross our paths when we don't expect them.  We find Jesus in those who are poor, in the people who are the least among us.  What we do to those who are the least in our midst, we do to Jesus.*  Jesus shows up when we least expect Him.  May He not come suddenly and find you unprepared.**  

* Matthew 25:40, 45 

* Mark 13:36

God Has Us In His Hands

In the last couple of weeks, I've gotten some schooling in moving from the idea to the reality.  A couple of friends of mine have been showing me how to approach adversity.  Truly they are living their faith.  They are putting into practice the words of Jesus that we hear today.  

In today's Gospel, the disciples are on the lake, but Jesus is asleep.  A storm is raging, threatening to sink the boat.  They frantically wake Jesus.  He rebukes the wind and the waves.  He says, "Be quiet and calm."  He tells the disciples they seem to have little faith.*  

I am imagining someone saying to me, "Sure, Martin, you're sitting around talking about faith when you're not going through anything challenging."  I would reply to such an objection, "OK, fine, I'll let those with faith speak who are facing great difficulties right now."   

An old friend I've known for nearly twenty years shared with me last week that his dear brother is in hospice.  At times my friend suddenly breaks into tears.  During this trial, my friend has simply said, "God has us in His hands."  That's not an idea of trust; that's real trust in God.  

Another dear friend, who I've also known for years, just found out he has cancer.  As he struggles with the implications of this serious diagnosis, he has related he is relying on God.  It's not a concept of turning to God.  He is choosing to depend on God amidst this major development.  

Both these friends truly trust God now at these critical junctures because for years they've watered the seeds of faith God planted in them.  Once the storms came, they knew faith isn't just a word.  Faith is the reality of the strength God gives us.  Through faith God empowers us to thrive.  

* Mark 4:35-41 

Know Him And Know The Way

We can spend a lot of time with someone without really hearing that person, or without mulling over what he or she says.  Even after spending so much time with people, we can even miss important truths about others, even about those we love very much.  

Jesus told His disciples where He was going they knew the way.*  He had been teaching them the way through how He lived his life.  He had taught them that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains a single grain, but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest.**  

Jesus is the grain of wheat.  To yield a rich harvest to the glory of His Father in Heaven, He laid down his life with much love for us.  Jesus showed His disciples that the way is not to remain a single grain, but that the way was to die to oneself so as to live for others.  

Thomas expressed confusion, saying the disciples did not know where He was going, so how could they know the way?*** He took literally Jesus’ word.  Thomas had much reason to look for the figurative given Jesus' style.  In missing His meaning, Thomas missed Jesus.  

Jesus explained He is The Way, The Truth and The Life.****  The Way to the Father is through Jesus.  As we embrace Jesus, we accept the sacrifices we have to make to live in love.  Jesus told Saint Faustina He is love itself;***** The Way to Heaven is through Jesus, by living in love.  

If we know Jesus, we know love.  When we welcome Jesus into our hearts, we welcome love into our hearts.  As we listen to Jesus, to the Word of God, we are led into The Way to God Our Father. If we pay attention to Jesus, we find in Him The Way to eternal life.  

* John 14:4 

** John 12:24 

*** John 14:5 

**** John 14:6 

***** Diary of Saint Faustina, 1074.

Have Life, And To The Full

In today's Gospel, we hear that Jesus came that we might have life, and have it to the full.*  What do we have to do, what's our part, so that we might have life to the full?  

God is inviting us into deeper life in all that happens.  In what we expect, what catches us off guard, what pleases us, what seems distasteful, God will work all of it for our good, if we but love Him.**

In what we find challenging, we might not understand the purpose of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. Here as always God calls us to trust in Him, to go forward in faith in Him.  

Once we've come out of difficult times, we are not merely to feel relief that we are no longer enduring such trials.  Surely we are to be grateful to God that we're through such tribulation.  

Yet upon emerging from such taxing tests, we do well to take stock of what lessons were just being presented to us.  What was God just trying to teach us?  Were we resisting it, or were we embracing it?  

Last week Highway 1 reopened a half dozen miles north of the hermitage, after being closed for three months due to collapse.  The road opens, yet do we find life in the road we've always taken?    

The way in front of us may be closed, or perhaps God is opening up a new way for us, or maybe God is showing us a way that has always been open to us.  What seems like misfortune may be a blessing.  

When the path is cleared, do we want to go back to going the way we used to go?  We may have evolved such that we no longer feel inclined to proceed the way we used to take.  

To the extent we embrace what God is trying to show us, we find true life.  God wants us to have life to the full, yet God leaves it up to us whether we accept the truth of His invitation.  

* John 10:10 

** Romans 8:28 

Let It Happen To Me As You Have Said

In every moment we are faced with a choice.  Constantly we are being asked to give our assent.  Despite our uncertainty, we can embrace our present circumstances.  

We see an offer to cooperate in the Annunciation we celebrate today.  The angel told Mary that she would become the mother of Jesus.  

Mary felt deeply troubled.*  Not comprehending, she questioned.**  She wanted to understand.  

Inherent in this approach is a desire to know.  Do we truly want to understand?  Do we seek meaning in the challenges we face?  

We might feel bewildered as we are right now.  Our current situation, amidst the coronavirus, might seem incomprehensible.  We can ask why: we can seek to understand.  

We can ask why we are enduring all of these apparent afflictions now.  There is a deeper meaning behind all this; we can seek it.  

Then we all face a choice.  I'm not just talking to Christians.  All of us face this question.  

We all face the decision whether we will cooperate.  Conceptualize it however you would like to see it.  We must decide whether to embrace our current supposed misfortune.  All of us either engage or disengage from it.  

Giving our consent to the duty of the present moment, we grow.  When we make excuses from what is our duty, we wither away.  In the present moment, we find our destiny, toward growth or decay.  

We receive invitations in the present.  The angel said the Holy Spirit will overshadow you.***  Mary then replied, "Let it happen to me as you have said."****  We decide who we are now.  

Mary said yes.  So have many.  In them are models to follow.  We decide who we will imitate.  Choose your model.  Make your choice.  

* Luke 1:29 

**Luke 1:29, 1:34 

*** Luke 1:35

**** Luke 1:38 

Loss Is Gain

Loss is gain.  When we lose ourselves in love, we gain since we find our true selves in love.  Through love our lives are saved.  God invites us into love and thus into the glory of God.  

Jesus taught us, "Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; whoever loses his life for My sake and for the sake of the Gospel will save it."*  If we cling to what we have, we lose it.  If we lose it, we are saved.  

By insisting on our own ideas that we think up without the help of God, we are turning our backs on our true selves.  If we follow only our own plans, we lose our lives.  

If we let go of what we think we have, then our hands are free.  With open hands and hearts, we can accept what God wants to give us.  As we lose what we had been imagining on our own, we save our lives.  

It's pointless to pursue our own agenda but not become our true selves.  Jesus continued, "What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?"**  

In sacrifice we find our true selves.  Today's first reading brings us back to Abraham.  Since he was willing to lose Isaac, his only son, Abraham gained so much more, becoming the father of many descendants.***    

As we sacrifice ourselves, we become our true selves who we will not fully see until Heaven.  What we shall be has not yet been revealed.  When it is revealed, we shall be like Him, since we will see Him as He is.****  

Then we will see Jesus in His glory.  Today in the Gospel we heard of how Peter, James and John saw Jesus in His glory as He was transfigured.  They saw Him in His glory; we wait to see Him in His glory.  

When we see Him in His glory, we will be like Him.  Until then, as we sing here at the hermitage, we wait for You, God, to transform our lowly bodies into glorious copies of Your own.  

We wait, and yet in a certain sense, this transformation can begin now.  If we lose ourselves by living in love now, we find our true selves.  God gives us His love so we can share in His glory.  

We are saved by giving up our lives through love.  With the love of God poured into our hearts,***** we are empowered to die to ourselves and so be saved.  Through the love of God we are saved.  

* Mark 8:35 

** Mark 8:36 

*** Genesis 22:1-18 

**** 1 John 3:2 

***** Romans 5:5 

In The Midst of Trials, Trust To Receive More

In today's Gospel reading we heard about Jesus' disciples panicking since their boat is filling with water while they're out on the lake, while Jesus is sleeping in the boat.  They wake him, and he rebukes the storm and quiets the sea, bringing a great calm.  He questions them why they are terrified, and asks them if they still don't have faith.*  

This week in California we received heavy rain, including here on the Big Sur coast.  Such a deluge of rain fell that in one spot, about seven miles north of the hermitage, both lanes of Highway 1 fell out, rendering that section of road impassable.  The rain has ended, leaving stillness.  

In the midst of trying circumstances, we can fall apart.  Yet if we have faith, we are called to witness to that faith and to the sureness and confidence it gives us.  We can recall that God brought us through fire and water, but then brought us relief.**  

We get relief through trusting God because we love Him.  God brings us through trials for our own good because we love Him.***  If we love God, then we trust Him.  When we trust in God, then God can bring us through fire and water and all sorts of supposed disasters, and we emerge miraculously better off.

As I've noted before, we grow more when we are challenged than we do when we feel comfortable.  If we want to become more than we have been, then we should welcome tribulation and apparent mishaps when they befall us.  

With each and every situation, we are asked what we want to become as a result of it.  Do we want it to unfold for our good and the good of others?  If so, then trust that God will work it to our advantage.  As Jesus told Saint Faustina, the more we trust Him, the more we receive from Him.****  

* Mark 4:35-41 

** Psalm 66:12 

*** Romans 8:28 

**** Diary of Saint Faustina, 1578.  

Honor The Truth

On this day we celebrate the Solemnity of the Epiphany.  Today we heard at Mass the Gospel reading telling us of the wise men coming from the east to honor the true King, Jesus.*   

Whenever we honor the truth, we honor Jesus.  Every time we reject the truth, we tell Jesus that we do not want Him to be our King,** since He is The Truth.***  

Today the outgoing President of the United States once again repeated his baseless claim that the most recent Presidential election was stolen, and that he was fraudulently defeated in that election, despite no credible evidence of widespread voter fraud; he encouraged his supporters to go to the Capitol and protest the outcome of the election, which they did, so that protesters stormed the Capitol and people died.****  In the lawfully sanctioned electoral process in the United States, the citizens told the outgoing President that we do not want him to be our President, yet he and some of his supporters refuse to acknowledge that truth.  When any of us supports unfounded allegations, we are rejecting the truth, and consequently we are telling Jesus that we do not want Him to be our King.  

How far are we willing to go to support the truth or deny it?  All of us, each and every one of us, with no exceptions, will have to give an account of whether we have fostered or undermined the truth.  On that day, the Truth may very well say to us, "Any time you denied the Truth, you denied Me."  

* Matthew 2:1-12 

** Luke 19:14 

*** John 14:6 

**** https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-video-statement-capitol-rioters-we-love-you-very-special-2021-1

Know How To Save A Life

WARNING: This blog post contains major spoilers for the film "It's A Wonderful Life."  

Gratitude leads us to prayer, which can help avoid disaster.  If we just realized the power of prayer, God could save us from so much.  And yet when we go through dire circumstances, we would do well to remember that Jesus suffered infinitely more than we ever have or ever will.  Knowing He is with us in our suffering, we can be encouraged in our faith, to pray boldly, with much gratitude.  

Receiving encouragement to gratitude and prayer, last night some of the other monks and I watched the 1946 film "It's A Wonderful Life."  Many know the film, and rightly so, as a call to gratitude, for those in our lives, for the many opportunities to love our neighbor.  However, in recent years I've come to see it also as a call to prayer.  

At the beginning of the film, celestial beings are discussing the plight of George Bailey, the main character in the film, who lives in the fictional town of Bedford Falls.  They are considering his current circumstances because so many people are sending up prayers for him.  They call Clarence, a junior angel, to familiarize him with George and his life before they send Clarence down to help George.  

Clarence learns that George has helped many people in life-altering, even life-saving ways.  George saved his younger, eight-year-old brother Harry from drowning.  Not too long later, he prevented his boss, the druggist Mr. Gower, from accidentally poisoning a young boy.  When George's father passed away, George postponed his plans to travel around the world so he could take over the Bailey Building and Loan Company, so that working-class people in town could get loans so they could live in respectable homes; if George had left, then the greedy Mr. Potter, the richest man in town, would have gotten rid of the Bailey business, forcing people to live in substandard housing.  Once Harry returned from college, he was married, with a lucrative job offer from his new father-in-law, so he didn't take over the Building and Loan Company.  George once again felt stuck, but in time he married beautiful, devoted Mary, and with more time, they had four kids.  

Coming to the end of the present day in the film, we find ourselves just before Harry's return home from the Second World War.  At that point, George's Uncle Billy misplaced eight thousand dollars, which would be over one hundred thousand dollars today.  George went home to Mary and his children, and was so disturbed that when he rushed out of the house, Mary picked up the telephone to alert many people that George was in trouble.  Her children were already gathered around her, asking her if they should pray for their father.  Their mother Mary replied that, yes, they should pray very hard.  George was so distraught that he was seriously considering committing suicide, and so Clarence is sent to save George.  

George discontentedly mutters that it would have been better if he had never been born.  Clarence consults with his superiors, and George's wish is granted.  Clarence shows George what would have happened if he had never been born.  

First he sees that his favorite neighborhood bar, where his friends had gently and tenderly cared for him, has become a business where his one friend Nick now works as a cold, heartless, cruel bartender.  In walks Mr. Gower, who, George learns, spent twenty years in prison, since George wasn't there to prevent him from inadvertently poisoning the young boy.  

Once he gets back to the center of town, George sees the town has been transformed for the worse.  It's no longer called Bedford Falls; now it's Pottersville, since Potter has totally taken it over.  Not only is the Building and Loan Company long gone, but debauchery is rampant; as George looks on, one of his former childhood friends, now belligerent and combative, is being dragged into a police vehicle.  He hails the cab his former friend Ernie is driving; once he's in it, Ernie tells him he's living in a slum, since the lovely home George had made possible through his loan has never existed.  Later George learns Uncle Billy was committed to an insane asylum when he lost his business.  His own mother doesn't recognize him since she never gave birth to him; she is cold and hardened, with none of the warmth and tenderness he had formerly received from her.  

Retreating from the center of town, George goes out and attempts to see the numerous homes he had made possible, which, of course, are not there; instead he finds a cemetery.  In it he sees the grave of his brother Harry.  George declares it's a lie, that Harry Bailey went to war, shot down two enemy planes that were about to crash into two transports, and thus saved many lives.  Clarence explains that Harry wasn't there to save them, since George hadn't been there to save Harry.  Then Clarence says to George, "You see, George, you really had a wonderful life."  Still George persists; he urges out of Clarence the whereabouts of Mary, whom he finds, and who, of course, also does not recognize him.  George rushes back to the bridge where he had been considering committing suicide, but now he is begging God, earnestly telling God that he wants to live again, desperately imploring God to let him live again.  Grateful, George is restored to life.  

We can fail to appreciate God's many blessings.  We can focus on what we don't have instead of what do we have.  Yet when we pay attention to what we do have, then we are grateful.  

Gratitude gives birth to generosity.  Gratitude feeds compassion.  If we are grateful, we'll take care of those in our lives.  When others are in need, since we are grateful, we'll help them.  

To recognize the need of another person, we need to keep our eyes open.  Then we need to embrace the duty of the present moment.  

I have learned these lessons in tragic ways.  Ten years ago I was in a park with a group of friends.  At one point I was walking along with Bob, who was the friend of a friend.  He was silent.  I asked him how he was.  Literally, never at any other point in my life have I ever felt such unspoken darkness from another human being.  He did not reply.  A few days later I heard that he had committed suicide.  

In the many e-mails that were exchanged in our social circle as we struggled with the reality that Bob had taken his own life, a friend of mine asked, "Where was Clarence?"  He was referring to the guardian angel in the movie "It's A Wonderful Life," who appeared to save George Bailey from committing suicide.  I sent a group e-mail to those in our social circle, pointing out that in that movie, many people were praying for George.  In contrast, I asked how many of us had been praying for Bob before he committed suicide.  A crowd was storming Heaven on behalf of George Bailey because his wife Mary had urged them to pray for him; I had reason to know that Bob was in trouble, but I did and said nothing.  

On the Feast Day of the Guardian Angels, back on October 2 this year, this blog post had occurred to me, yet I said nothing.  Now I am conveying it to you.  Yes, there are angels.  Yes, they have jobs to do.  We also have jobs to do.  One of our jobs is to pray.  Prayer is power.  Power is exerted when it is used.  If you don't use your hand to pick up a telephone off of a table, it remains on the table; if someone else doesn't come along and hand it to you, you won't get it.  If you don't pray, and if no one else does, no request is made.  

We are called to care for each other, including by praying for each other.  We are not without models to follow.  Jesus came and cared for us.  We follow Him by caring for each other.  

Some of us could point out that we have not been well taught in caring for each other since we have not had exemplary families.  Earlier this year I met a woman who asked me how to cope with a parent who inflicted trauma and who continues to inflict trauma.  Twenty years ago when I made a new friend, she told me that as a young girl, she watched until her father beat her mother until her mother was bloody.  

Yet when we have been mistreated, we do well to keep in mind that often those who have abused others were themselves gravely injured.  A couple days ago I received a letter from someone I met years ago.  Back soon after I met him, repeatedly I heard that he hit his cohabitant very hard.  Then in this letter from him last week, he told me that he is still grappling with the reality that his father killed his mother.  

Knowing of his emotional and psychological wounds, I became compassionate toward him.  Learning of his deep scars, I was brought out of myself and into communion with him.  

We are called to solidarity with our neighbors in their suffering.  They are not to be left alone, and we must remember we are not alone in our tribulations, when we feel tortured and agonized.  In Jesus, Mary and Joseph we not only find our models.  In them we also find spiritual family members who share and feel our pain because they too felt such anguish.  

In Mary, Joseph and all the Saints, we find our spiritual family members who are waiting for us to call out.  If we simply ask them to intercede with Our Father in Heaven and with His Son Jesus, they will pray for us and thus show us the love they have for us as our spiritual family members.  

A couple days ago we celebrated the Feast of the Holy Family, the family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  That day at Mass we heard of Mary and Joseph taking Jesus to the Temple to present Him to the Lord God.  At the Presentation, Simeon, an elderly devout man, prophesied that Jesus was destined for the fall and the rise of many, and that a sword would pierce Mary's soul too.*  A sword pierced Mary's soul partly because her Son, though he would never sin, was put to death.  He was condemned to death although He was innocent.  

Jesus stands with those who are murdered yet are guiltless.  Today we honor the Feast of the Holy Innocents, those boys two years old and younger in Bethlehem, who King Herod ordered murdered, as he attempted to wipe out Jesus, who had been born in Bethlehem, The One who would become King.**    

It is often asked how God can exist when innocent people are victims of tragedies.  When we are crying out in disbelief over how God can allow such catastrophes to occur, let us not doubt the love of God.  God let His own innocent Son die.  God let His guiltless Son die to save us, because God infinitely loves us.  God loves us limitlessly because God made an infinite sacrifice for us: God, the Divine, is infinite; God sacrificed His Son, who is Divine and thus infinite, for us; God's sacrifice for us is infinite and never-ending.  

God's love is greater than any catastrophe that befalls us.  The Holy Innocents died as King Herod ordered their massacre.  God gives us free will.  Unfortunately, some people misuse the free will God has given us.  God takes the risk, that free will might be used inappropriately, because God loves us.  Love does not force itself on another.  

God also takes the chance of the improper use of free will because tremendous good can ultimately come out of this situation.  Here we delve into mysteries which will not be fully revealed to us this side of Heaven.  For now we are called to trust that through these perilous waters we will be strengthened.  Now we see what we are; what we will be has not yet been revealed to us.***    

In the end it comes down to what we believe.  Belief is crucial.  What you believe determines what you pray.  What you pray decides the result.  We reap what we sow.  

When we fail to pray, tragedy unfolds.  By contrast, we avert tremendous suffering when we pray.  

In our prayer, or lack of prayer, we determine the course of events.  Simply in being grateful, we are transformed.  Having become grateful, we are more likely to pray.  Being more prone to pray, we are more likely to be turning to God in all circumstances, including in rather trying situations.  Turning to God, and enlisting others to petition God, together through our prayer God delivers us.  God transforms the world through our prayer.  

* Luke 2:22-35 

** Matthew 2:16 

*** 1 John 3:2 

Unto You A Child Is Born

Unto you a child is born.*  He is here, with us always.**  

He was born in a stable two thousand years ago.***  Now He knocks at the doors of our hearts, asking us to grant Him entry.****  God knocks at the doors of our hearts, respecting our free will, never forcing Himself upon us.  

God invites us to be co-creators with Him.  He does not force us to decide in a particular way.  He leaves it up to us.  

We will become who God made us to be to the extent we cooperate with grace.*****  We will become our true selves insofar as we open our hearts to God.  

We can become much more than we have ever been.  God awaits our response to His invitation.  

* Isaiah 9:5; Luke 2:11 

** Matthew 28:20 

*** Luke 2:7  

**** Revelation 3:20  

***** Catechism of the Catholic Church. (Liguori, MO: Liguori Publications, 1994), 1996.  

Invited To Step Outside Of Ourselves

God corrects us since we are ignorant.  God shows us what we do not want to see.  In what God shows us, our misperceptions are corrected so that we see with clear vision.  

We have preconceptions of who God is.  In our mind's eye, we have picture of what we believe God looks like.  Similarly, we can have an idea of the appearance of Mary, the mother of Jesus.  What we imagine is not necessarily accurate.  God sets us straight so we see right again.  

We get an inkling of such correction from Our Lady of Guadalupe, who appeared in 1531 to Saint Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin, a native peasant, on Tepeyac Hill in what is present-day Mexico.  After initially coming to him a few times on that hill, later he went before the bishop to convey her request that a shrine be built there, so that people could go there to receive grace.  The bishop told Juan Diego that he needed a sign to confirm that the apparition truly was Our Blessed Mother Mary.  When Juan Diego, at Our Blessed Mother's direction, returned to the bishop with flowers from Tepeyac Hill even though it was winter, upon Juan Diego opening his tilma, or his mantle, and letting the flowers fall to the ground, upon his tilma was impressed an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  

Our Lady of Guadalupe is depicted on the tilma as having the features of a woman native to the land in which she appeared.  Europeans, only having arrived in the Americas less than forty years earlier, only had seen such native people for the first time a few decades before she appeared to Saint Juan Diego.  For centuries Europeans likely had been envisioning Our Blessed Mother Mary as not looking like she appeared to Juan Diego.  

Europeans were coming to the Americas to evangelize the native peoples, having a certain idea of what Our Blessed Mother Mary looked like.  As it turned out, the native people seemed to have evangelized the arriving Europeans, who were probably corrected in their misconceptions of the certainty of the appearance of Our Blessed Mother Mary.  

We can be convinced we have something to show to our neighbor, when in fact our neighbor has something to show us, when God wants to show us something through our neighbor.  We can be sure we are the teachers, when in fact we are the students.  The image of Our Lady of Guadalupe is a call to humility.  

In this summons to humility, God guides us to see our neighbor with fresh eyes, casting aside our inaccurate perceptions of our neighbor.  So often we avoid seeing our neighbors for who and what they truly are.  God is in our neighbor, but we can refuse to see God in our neighbor.  

Jesus told us that we find Him in those of the least among us.*  Jesus is in the impoverished person who comes to us.  When the bishop received the poor man Juan Diego, he welcomed Jesus.  When we welcome our neighbor into our hearts, we open our hearts to Jesus.  

What we do to our neighbor, we do to Jesus.  When we subject our neighbor to racism, we are not only disrespecting our neighbor, we are also rejecting Jesus, who is in our neighbor.  

When we refuse to open our hearts to our neighbors, we close our hearts to God.  In the one in front of us who is different from us, we receive a call to open our hearts, to see anew, to see as God wants us to see.  

We receive this summons to see with new eyes as we gaze upon Our Lady of Guadalupe.  By appearing as a native, she challenged the assumptions of the Europeans who likely did not expect her appearance to be as it was.  

In Our Lady of Guadalupe, we see a rebuke of racism.  In her we see a call to welcome those who are different from us, to listen to them, to pay attention to them, to see them with fresh eyes.  As we consider her, we are invited to learn from those who are different from us.  

Race is an invitation to step outside of ourselves.  When we are with someone of another race, God wants to teach us through that person.  If we are racist, we reject God's advances.  As we open our hearts to someone of another race, we open our hearts to God.  

* Matthew 25:40,45  

Stay Awake Because You Do Not Know The Day Or The Hour

Today I feel as if the Gospel echoes the urgency my soul has felt for years.  For years I feel I have been reminded of the truth I have heard today.  

Today at Mass we heard that 

Jesus said to his disciples: 
“Be watchful! Be alert!  
You do not know when the time will come.  
It is like a man traveling abroad.  
He leaves home and places his servants in charge, 
each with his own work, 
and orders the gatekeeper to be on the watch.  
Watch, therefore; 
you do not know when the Lord of the house is coming, 
whether in the evening, or at midnight, 
or at cockcrow, or in the morning.  
May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping.  
What I say to you, I say to all: ‘Watch!’”*    

After Mass today, Father Isaiah pointed out to me that this Gospel passage could be calling us to be vigilant so we recognize Jesus when He comes to us in our daily lives.  On any given day, we may cross paths with a homeless person; we do well to remain alert so we see Jesus in that poor person in front of us.**  

Of course in these Gospel verses Jesus is telling us that we do not know the day or the hour when He will come again, in His Second Coming.  We do not want to be unprepared when He returns, but instead we want to be ready for his arrival.  

Most often when I hear these Scripture verses, I am reminded I do not know when I will be called from this life to the next.  I have taken this directive from Jesus as an urgent call to attend to the duty of the present moment, to be constantly striving to love God and my neighbor, since at any given moment, this life might be about to end.  

Over and over in my life I have been reminded of the truth that I do not know when my time will come.  For many years now, my friends and friends of friends have passed away having had little or no warning.  They were not expecting death, yet at times it came unannounced, probably coming earlier than they had been anticipating.  

A college classmate of mine, Chris, once he was in his mid-twenties, died from complications related to cancer.  A few years later, Liz, a dear mentor and co-worker, in her late thirties had a headache at work one day; that night she expired from a cerebral hemorrhage.  Less than a half dozen years later, another co-worker in his late forties got up one morning and very soon thereafter suddenly collapsed from a fatal heart attack.  Around the same time, a friend of a friend, in his early fifties died during the course of an operation.  About a half dozen years later, another friend of a friend, Eric, in his forties lost a battle with brain cancer.  Around the same time, Karen, a former co-worker in her late fifties or early sixties passed away after only a day or two of any evident health challenge.  

Over and over I have been reminded that I do not know when my time will come.  Today in my heart, mind and soul is echoing the reminder of today's Gospel that has been presented to me repeatedly during my life.  And so, what has been reinforced in my soul I say to you: Be watchful, be alert, since you do not know when the time will come.  

* Mark 13:33-37 

** Matthew 25:40,45 

Rise Above By Remaining In Jesus

Earlier this week we heard at Mass how Jesus meets us in the challenges we face.  He invites us, through Him, to rise above what would drag us down.  

In the Gospel that day, we were reminded that 

Jesus made the disciples get into a boat

and precede Him to the other side of the sea, 

while He dismissed the crowds.  

After doing so, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray.  

When it was evening He was there alone.  

Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, 

was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it.  

During the fourth watch of the night, 

He came toward them, walking on the sea.  

When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea 

they were terrified.  

"It's a ghost," they said, and they cried out in fear.  

At once Jesus spoke to them, "Take courage, it is I; 

do not be afraid."  

Peter said to Him in reply, "Lord, if it is you, 

command me to come to You on the water."  

He said, "Come."  

But when he saw how strong the wind was 

he became frightened; 

and, beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!"  

Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, 

and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"  

After they got into the boat, the wind died down.  

Those who were in the boat did Him homage, saying, 

"Truly, You Are the Son of God."  

After making the crossing, they came to land at Gennesaret.  

When the men of that place recognized Him, 

they sent word to all the surrounding country.  

People brought to Him all those who were sick

and begged Him 

that they might touch only the tassel on His cloak, 

and as many as touched it were healed.*  

Jesus sent the disciples out onto the sea.  God knows what is going to happen.  God lets us go through trials.  We go through fire and water.**  Through tribulation we are tested.  At times we are refined, but not like silver, rather in a furnace of affliction.***  At other times, God tries us as silver is tried in fire,**** polishes us like silver, to become ever more beautiful.  In all that tries us, God is giving us oil to make our faces shine.*****  Through all that tests us, God makes us more luminous because God is strengthening us. In giving us the grace to do what we could not do ourselves, God is thus glorified.  As God is glorified through us, we become more beautiful, because we are reflecting the magnificence of God.  

Of course the disciples probably were not thinking thus in the midst of their rowing across the sea as they were being tossed by the waves.  So often, we do not think about the benefits God is bestowing on us as we are enduring hardship.  

When the disciples saw Jesus, they fearfully cried out.  Indeed, we can become so absorbed in the struggle that we do not even recognize Jesus, that we forget that Jesus is with us always.******  

Jesus is not only there with us every moment as we are being tested; He is there for us to step toward Him in faith, as frightening and impossible as that may seem to us through our impaired vision.  He bids us come to Him as He bid Peter to come to Him.  

Peter sank because he took his eyes off Jesus.  He started focusing on the wind instead of on Jesus, and consequently he gave into fear.  When we take our eyes off of Jesus, we sink.  

Jesus wants us to rise above what would drag us down, to remain above it all by keeping focused on Him, by fixing our attention so much on Him that we remain in Him and He remains in us.*******  If we remain in Him and He remains in us, we will stay above all that would pull us down since we totally trust in Him.  

We remain in Him, we abide in Him and He abides in us, when we live in faith.  If we embrace the gift of faith that God has planted in us, we will remain above all that would drag us down.  

In the midst of these challenging days of the coronavirus, how are we responding?  Someone asked me if I have been praying for a cure for the coronavirus.  Sure, it's well and good to pray for a cure for the coronavirus and for all that threatens our physical health.  

However, if all we do is pray for a medical cure, it's tantamount to saying to God only, "God, get me out of this situation that is such a problem."  It's implicitly telling God that we're not interested in how God wants us to learn and grow through the coronavirus.  

We can only cry out for God to catch us so we don't sink.  When waves threaten to drown us, we can pray not only that we not be engulfed by the waves.  Frankly, though, if we nurture and cultivate the gift of faith that God has given us, we're not going to be desperately crying out to God.  If we embrace the gift of faith that God has given us, we're going to be calmly and confidently turning to God for the strengthening and sustenance and grace that we're sure God is going to give us, and that God is already giving us.  

We can prepare for such challenging times in advance.  We can decide ahead of time how we want to respond.  We can visualize in our mind's eye being in the midst of a storm and feeling assured of God's support of us.  We can envision the storm raging around us as we serenely step toward Jesus, having already chosen to keep our eyes on Jesus.  

We turn to God.  God reaches to us.  God holds us up.  

* Matthew 14:22-36 

** Psalm 66:12 

*** Isaiah 48:10 
****Psalm 66:10 

***** Psalm 104:15 

****** Matthew 28:20 

******* John 15:4, 5, 6, 7 

Give Them Something To Eat Yourselves

God feeds us.  We become more.  Through us God feeds our neighbor.  

We see pain and feel it.  God feels it.  

We cry out, praying to God.  God hears us.  

We can get stuck crying out.  We are empowered to do more.  God wishes more done in us.

We call out.  Yet God seeks more from us.  We seek food.  God wants us feeding each other.  

In today's Gospel, we hear that, when Jesus received the news that John the Baptist had been beheaded, 

he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.
The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns.
When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,
his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.
When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said,
“This is a deserted place and it is already late;
dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages
and buy food for themselves.”
Jesus said to them, “There is no need for them to go away;
give them some food yourselves.”
But they said to him,
“Five loaves and two fish are all we have here.”
Then he said, “Bring them here to me,”
and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass.
Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to Heaven,
he said the blessing, broke the loaves,
and gave them to the disciples,
who in turn gave them to the crowds.
They all ate and were satisfied,
and they picked up the fragments left over—
twelve wicker baskets full.
Those who ate were about five thousand men,
not counting women and children.*  

The disciples realized the need of the crowds.  The disciples asked Jesus to send the crowds away so they could go get something to eat.  The disciples saw, but with their physical senses and functions, rather than with the eyes of faith.  The disciples did not realize how Jesus wished to feed the crowds.  The disciples did not realize Jesus wanted to feed them as well as the crowds.  

Jesus proceeded to multiply the five loaves of bread and the two fish, so that the thousands were fed with what at first seemed to be so little food.  In the multiplication of the loaves and the fishes, we see a prefiguring of the Eucharist, of Jesus' giving of Himself, His sacrifice of Himself.**  

When the disciples asked Jesus to send the crowds away, He told the disciples to give the crowds something to eat themselves.  Jesus wanted to feed the crowds through the faith of the disciples.  

In our faith, we feed each other.  When we embrace our faith, God works through us.  Jesus could have said to the disciples, "Give them something to eat: yourselves."  

When we give of ourselves, we feed our neighbor.  When we offer ourselves as sacrifices, we join our sacrifice with the sacrifice of Jesus.  In the Eucharist, the sacrifice of Christ becomes also the sacrifice of the members of the Body of Christ.***  

When we partake of the Body and the Blood of Christ, we become what we receive.****  When we receive the Eucharist, we become Eucharist.  Having become Eucharist, we can be Eucharist to each other.  Jesus, in us, feeds our neighbor through us.  

As we embrace this mystery, we consent to the growth of the faith in us.  As we see with the eyes of faith, we invite God to work through us.  

Jesus was not telling the disciples not to bother him, to give the crowds something to eat themselves since He was not going to give the crowds something to eat.  Nor was He going to simply give the crowds something to eat.  

Rather Jesus wanted not only to feed the crowds with food, but feed the faith of those present.  He was beginning to tell us that we feed each other when we give of ourselves.  

Right now many people are starving, some for food.  Others are starving because they feel discouraged or hopeless in the face of the challenges that the coronavirus has brought, social distancing, lockdown, loss of income, inability to pay bills, including rent, lack of money to buy food, not being able to visit sick family members and friends.  

In your faith, in the faith that God has given you, you can help provide the hope that some need.  Through your faith, you can strengthen the weak, those who are collapsing on the way.  You can be given; you can be Eucharist to your neighbor.  God can give life through you.  

* Matthew 14:13-21

** The Catechism of the Catholic Church 1335.  

*** The Catechism of the Catholic Church 1368.  
**** Saint Pope Leo the Great, Sermo 12 de Passione, 3, 6-7, PL 54, 355-357.